Hal Jordan is a Pedophile

We get a lot of questions about this one, both on our message board and via email. "Hal Jordan is a pedophile" is our own little meme, like "Superman is a dick" or "It sucks being Sue Storm!" Of course, just like those, ours has a real basis in the comics.

It started with the character of Arisia, a 13-year-old GL with some serious daddy issues. She developed a crush on Hal, and in Green Lantern #205 and 206, she used her ring to physically mature her body so Hal would like her back. That link has a better analysis of the situation than we could manage, so go enjoy. Anyway, the story ends with Hal dry-humping this girl in a cave about an hour after he notices the change. Big hero.

Several writers kept this relationship alive, which means that Hal knew Arisia was actually still a child, but carried on a serial relationship with her anyway. It's recently been retconned that "13" on her home planet is equivalent to our "240," but that sure as hell wasn't the case when the character (and the concept) was introduced.

A more recent example comes from The Brave and the Bold #2, where Hal is flying in space with the new Supergirl:

I don't care how hot the girl is, normal people don't need to remind themselves when someone is underage. Especially not with such... fervor. I mean, come on, the guy works side by side with Black Canary - where's the comic that spends pages and pages on him reminding himself that she's married to Green Arrow?

Although, in Hal's defense, Supergirl did eventually end up dressing like this for him, so... wait, I forget how that was supposed to be mitigating. He was still forced to remind himself that she was underage. Let's face it: Hal Jordan is a pedophile.

Now, as one of our readers pointed out, "Technically pedophilia only applies to chasing after pre-pubescent kids. But there's definitely something skeevy about Hal Jordan. Like a 40-year-old guy who stands across the street from the high school and stares every day when class lets out." So yes, legally he's not a pedophile, he's more like a statutory rapist, or a plain ol' sex offender. But "pedo" is just a funnier word.

And that, friends, is why we say "Hal Jordan is a Pedophile."

(Bet you that Superman fans never have to get into debates about the difference between pedophilia and statutory rape, and which one their hero enjoys.)

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15 Responses to Hal Jordan is a Pedophile

  1. Ambrose Kalifornia says:

    It's legally defensible if she's hot.

  2. Rex says:

    that lil girl seduced poor old hal...and do you enjoy the symbolism of them entering the shaft? wow wats next? matt hanson gonna drive up to oa and arrest him?

  3. Onslaught says:

    Ha!
    Just read this again and I love it

    I never really thought of Superman as a dick, but I've never liked him.... I guess he is kinda a douche.

    The link for Sue didn't work for me... Why does it suck being her?

  4. John says:

    If she's old enough join the military she's old enough for sex.

  5. Dalyxia says:

    So she uses magic, to mature her body and the you use logic in a fantasy world.

    Urgent message: people cannot fly!!!! Therfor, your logic is invalid.

  6. Tj says:

    A lot of you are child predators as well u sick fucks

  7. fu4fun says:

    Arisia is hot as hell

  8. Anonymous says:

    Alot of you from what i read sound like pedophiles implying that its ok because shes Hot at 13! Very demonic mindset even if its a fake world it is still a comic that is shown to our kids in the REAL World and the writer is a real person who lives in the real world with this mindset . It just lets me know how much pedophiles creeps we have in this world ,i hope the people around ya'll Notice this and wont allow their kids or teenagers to be around you . if its alway in your mind that a young girl or boy is hot at a young age your disgusting we cant see your thoughts but it must be even more disgusting than your comments .

  9. I’ve banged your mom says:

    Supergirl is older than hal. She’s from the same planet Clark Kent is from. She left krypton shortly after him. Arisia was always technically older than hal. Since her first inception they said her race age slower than humans. I have the entire run of gl. Fuck your stupid assumptions.

  10. Brain matter says:

    Supergirl is older than hal. She’s from the same planet Clark Kent is from. She left krypton shortly after him. Arisia was always technically older than hal. Since her first inception they said her race age slower than humans. I have the entire run of gl. Fuck your stupid assumptions.

    • yo go re says:

      Do you know what the difference is between being wrong and being a liar is? Knowledge: if you didn't know what you were saying was incorrect, then you're just wrong; if you did know and said it anyway, then you're lying. Only you can know which one of those your statement about Arisa is this time, but if you ever say it again in the future, it will 100% be a lie, because today you're learning the truth: the thing about Arisa aging slower was introduced in Green Lantern Vol. 4 13, in 2006. If you have the entire run of GL, you should try reading them sometime, because then you'd be able to say things about them that were accurate.

      Yes, Supergirl was older than Superman when Krypton was destroyed; "and"? Getting stuck in a Kryptonite meteor left her in suspended animation, so she remained both physically and mentally 16-years-old when she got to Earth. Her actual chronological age doesn't matter.

      So overall, a good attempt to defend Hal's "prominent Republican leader" tendencies, but you'd have better luck if you knew what you were talking about...

    • My Common Sense is Tingling says:

      Leave it to an apologist to remember to change his name when he wants to make it look like someone agrees with him, but forget to paste a different message.

  11. item satış says:

    Wouw, amazing!

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