{"id":36355,"date":"2022-02-18T00:00:16","date_gmt":"2022-02-18T05:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.oafe.net\/blog\/?p=36355"},"modified":"2022-06-10T06:17:07","modified_gmt":"2022-06-10T10:17:07","slug":"us-space-force-addendum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.oafe.net\/blog\/2022\/02\/us-space-force-addendum\/","title":{"rendered":"US Space Force addendum"},"content":{"rendered":"

So what makes Amazo Toy's Space Force<\/i> action figures<\/a> so cool?<\/p>\n

\"Ben<\/p>\n

When the Kickstarter began, each figure included three heads: one generic, one world leader, and one related national figure. As the campaign went along, more and more bonus heads were unlocked, so the final figures each include six. We already talked about the infantry soldier heads in the main review, so let's look at the rest!<\/p>\n

We begin with Commander Trump<\/b>, the Space Force Red Leader. This is a very good sculpt, for a 4\" figure - it's got the big bags under the eyes, the saggy jowls, the double chin, the frown of a loser, everything! The hair is a bit too solid, but there's no way to mold \"wispy and airy\" in plastic. It also looks a bit strange on the space suit, because the Space Force body is so thin; imagine how many pairs of Space-Spanx he'd have to roll himself into in order to fit inside there! If they'd made a fatter body, then we could have looked forward to William Howard Taft, Grover Cleveland, and Bill Clinton heads. The biggest problem, though, is the skintone: a lot of these figures are going to suffer from the desaturated skin that's currently plaguing the industry, but if any toy should not<\/b> be blue, it's this one. In space, no one can hear you spray-tan.<\/p>\n

The second head is the Ghost of Ronald Reagan<\/b>. Feels like some commentary, there. The Republican Spectre is molded entirely from a light blue translucent plastic; if you've ever wanted to make a Ronald Reagan Force Ghost, now's your opportunity! Unfortunately, that plastic, coupled with the total lack of paint, makes the details hard to see. You know what's cool, though? When you put the head on the body, the white plastic of the neck's balljoint shows through, helping reflect light inside the mold and helping the detail stand out. Alone, this is a blue lump of plastic; in use, it's a phantasmal ex-President! I don't know if that was intentional or fortunate circumstance, but it makes the head better.<\/p>\n

The first unlock came at $40,000, and Space Force Red got Coco<\/b>, the Astronaut Space Monkey. This could just be a random weird inclusion, but since the most famous movie Ronald Reagan ever starred in as an actor was Bedtime for Bonzo<\/i>, about a psychology professor trying to teach human ethics to a chimpanzee, it feels like a specific reference. (Coincidentally, \"trying to teach human ethics to a chimpanzee\" also perfectly encapsulates what it feels like to deal with Republicans on any important issues.) The light paint wash makes the face look dusty, and the way the eyes are painted makes it look like someone wearing a mask rather than being a real chimp. Like they're going to reassure Bruno Mars that he's the prettiest at the store<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The $50k unlock was supposed to be Vice President Pence<\/b>, but the jawline and the chisseled cheeks make it look more like Johnny Quest<\/i>'s Race Bannon. The real Mike Pence is a sickly looking man with skin like balled-up tissue paper and the neck of a 90-year-old with an eating disorder. This toy looks like they were trying to train a neural network AI to predict \"Gigachad.\" Repaint this bronze and you've got yourself a Doc Savage. He doesn't look like an anti-queer weirdo with enough sexual hangups to make Freud feel relevant again, so if nobody told you who this was, you probably wouldn't guess.<\/p>\n

And on the topic of not knowing who someone is, who is this? General Flag<\/b>, that's who! Not the General Flagg of GI Joe<\/i> fame, because that one had two G's in his name, while this one only has one. With the brown hair and the eyepatch, he looks a bit like Nick Fury, Maybe it's supposed to be Charlton Heston? From when he played Nick Fury in True Lies<\/i>. Chin's not quite square enough, but he does have the determined frown. Until someone says different, we have to assume this is simply some random soldier man unlocked at $60k.<\/p>\n

Proving that Amazo Toys wasn't playing favorites, Space Force Blue is led by Commander Obama<\/b> - he may not be commander-in-chief anymore, but he hasn't been demoted. Again, the sculpt is excellent for the scale, though the hand-painted eyes are crossed slightly. But hey, it's nice(?) to see that the \"too blue\" thing our toys have been suffering from for the past few months isn't limited to Caucasian skin: this head almost looks green, it's so far off-target for the guy's actual skintone. This is a later Obama, with grey hair instead of black, but they did a good job with his tight smile.<\/p>\n

The first alternate head in the Republican set was the ghost of a dead man; the first alternate in the Democrat set is Uncle Sam<\/b>, the literal spirit of the ideal America; you see why we said it felt like commentary? It's not wrong, in that liberals want to improve the future while conservatives want to preserve the past, it's just... a bit on-the-nose? Republicans have been actively working against the common good for more than four decades now, and it's all in the name of Reagan. Uncle Sam, meanwhile, is a symbol that's appealing, but ultimately powerless to act on his own. This is a neat head to give a 4\" scale figure, but someone didn't think things through: although the brim of his hat is just small enough to fit inside the Space Force helmet, the top lifts the bubble up slightly, and his beard pokes out the bottom. Better hope the Symbol of Freedom doesn't need to breathe air in space!<\/p>\n

Space Force Blue's $40k unlock is Nikola Tesla<\/b>, the time-displaced scientist. Why Tesla? Well, because everybody knows Thomas Edison was a hateful bastard of a man, so no self-respecting toymaker would honor him in plastic as anything but a villain. Tesla was a Serbian immigrant, a technological genius, and a social weirdo who was in love with a pigeon. There are several famous photographs of Tesla in his younger days, and this head matches them well enough: a fairly handsome man with a strong part in his slick hair and a mustache that would inspire cops for centuries. The fact that the pupils are painted looking up and to the side makes him look like he's daydreaming about his inventions.<\/p>\n

When the Kickstarter passed $50,000, Space Force Blue got the added bonus of Zombie Dale<\/b>. Who and\/or what is Zombie Dale? If it's a reference or a joke, I don't get it. If it's just a random space-zombie, why does it have a name? It's a perfectly fine zombie head, with unrooted hair, deep scratches, sunken cheeks, and patches of scalp missing that allow the skull to be seen, but... what is it? Why is it? Who is Dale, and why is he a zombie? Why is he part of Space Force? Why is he part of Space Force Blue? There aren't even any famous astronauts or Democrats named \"Dale.\" His flesh looks gross and undead, but it's not that different from the other blue-skinned people, so who knows if they meant to do that or not?<\/p>\n

The $60,000 unlock is another scientist, Albert Einstein<\/b>. And holy crap, his skin is actually skin-colored! If they could do that for him, why does everyone else look like they have cyanosis? The facial sculpt feels very light, very simple, like they didn't put much work into it. And why would you, when you know the mustache and the frizzy hair are going to be doing, like, 99% of the heavy lifting anyway? Would you recognize Albert Einstein's face if you saw it bare? Would anyone? You could argue that this is a younger Einstein, but then his mustache should have been black, not white.<\/p>\n

Alternate heads for Space Force Red and Space Force Blue weren't enough, Amazo Toys also gave us alternates for the Russian Space Agency. And since the Americans got presidents, the Russians logically get Vladimir Putin<\/b> as their Commander. Somehow, this head looks more like Mike Pence than the Mike Pence head did. And certainly nothing like Dobby the House-Elf. For whatever reason, I think of Putin as being bald, but this hair is accurate. His expression is best described as \"tired dad whose kids demand he watch them go off the diving board.\"<\/p>\n

The second head is a big ol' lie. A whole series of lies! For one thing, it's quite blatantly just John Wick<\/a>. The prototype even had the same cuts on his face, though those didn't make the final product - possibly because that would have been too trademark-infringy. They changed the name and expect us to believe this is supposed to be Gregori Rasputin<\/b>, Undead Prophet. And you already know<\/a> the stories we hear about Rasputin are lies. But still, as far as legacies go, one could do worse then being known to history as a nigh-immortal fuckmachine. In fact, tell those same stories about me when I die. The real Rasputin famously had long, dirty hair and a scraggly beard, but since this is John Wick and not Rasputin, he's got John Wick hair and a John Wick beard.<\/p>\n

The first unlocked head is something pretty neat, and a total departure from everything we've had so far: it's a Russian Robot<\/b>! This spaceworthy automaton has a metal head that looks like it's forged from steel, with a distinct seam around the jawline and a thin slit mouth, then a single round red eye in the center of the face. There are rivets on the scalp and conical structures on the sides that serve as ears. The notion of a mechanical crewman fits right in with the silly sci-fi vibe of this line, and we love him.<\/p>\n

Next, we got Josef Stalin<\/b>, the Resurrected Communist Leader. For some reason, Amazo has chosen to make his hair a dirty blonde, rather than its natural dark brown. Were they afraid he was going to sue? To purge them? Like, he's pretty famously known for his dark hair, why's this figure look sepia-toned? Anyway, mentions of Josef Stalin always make me think of three things: how different the second half of the 20th century would be if Winston Churchill hadn't pissed Stalin off and made him an enemy by trying to shut him out of the peace process, that line in Daria<\/i> about wanting to fit his name on his luggage tags<\/a>, and the piece about how WWII is just a series of bad storytelling cliches<\/a>. Because if you can't laugh at the brutal dictator, who can you laugh at?<\/p>\n

And finally, the last unlock is a special one, because it gets its own separate accessory. It's Corporal Danko<\/b>, which means nothing to us, but is clearly just Arnold Schwarzenegger. The reason is revealed in a piece of promo art Amazo put out back in 2018, in which Danko is quoted as saying \"Soviet way is more economical. And brutal.\" A search on that line reveals (the first half of it) is from the forgettable 1988 movie Red Heat<\/i>, where Arnie played... Captain Ivan Danko. Guess he got a promotion! The stump of a cigar pokes out the corner of his mouth, and he wears a removable red beret. The beret is bagged with the rest of the accessories, and it looks pretty nice on the plain agent head, as well (as you can see in the \"articulation\" photo in the review<\/a>). Get enough of these guys and you can give one a hat and declare him an officer.<\/p>\n

\"Danko<\/p>\n

So far we've looked at all the bonus Space Force<\/i> heads we did get, but the Kickstarter promised more if enough money was raised. At $95,000, we would have unlocked the US President Head Pack<\/b>, featuring Franklin D. Roosevelt, Dwight D. Eisenhower, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, a fleshtoned Ronald Reagan, George Bush, and George W. Bush.<\/p>\n

\"seven<\/p>\n

At $125,000 came the Spirit of Freedom Head Pack<\/b>, with Rosie the Riveter, the Statue of Liberty, an an American Bald Eagle. Not sure how well the two ladies would have worked on this body, but still cool to get.<\/p>\n

\"America,<\/p>\n

And then finally, at $165,000, the Mount Rushmore Head Pack<\/b>, with George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln.<\/p>\n

\"four<\/p>\n

Honestly, I'd have been all-in on the heads if the Kickstarter made it that far, but what we got<\/a> was pretty fun already.<\/p>\n

<i>And now, some more OAFEry:<\/i><\/H5>