{"id":7047,"date":"2007-12-09T04:10:59","date_gmt":"2007-12-09T09:10:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.oafe.net\/blog\/?p=7047"},"modified":"2011-12-18T14:48:00","modified_gmt":"2011-12-18T19:48:00","slug":"twisted-xmas-2-a-twistmas-carol","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.oafe.net\/blog\/2007\/12\/twisted-xmas-2-a-twistmas-carol\/","title":{"rendered":"Twisted Xmas 2: A Twistmas Carol"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Poe sez:<\/p>\n<p>yo <a href=\"http:\/\/www.oafe.net\/blog\/?p=7042\">suggested yesterday<\/a> that McFarlane Toys create a second series of Twisted Xmas toys, this time based on Charles Dickens' <i>A Christmas Carol<\/i>. Given that it's a ghost story featuring supernatural creatures, graveyards, corpses, and Victorian-era values ripe for the perverting, I think this is a no-brainer for McToys - and a sure-seller.<\/p>\n<p>Here's how I envision the line:<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>Ebeneezer Scrooge<\/b> - a grotesque, hunchbacked miser, carrying a sack of filthy lucre and leaning on a cane with a death's head knob.<\/li>\n<li><b>The Ghost of Jacob Marley<\/b> - a horrific, zombie-like corpse, completely buried in huge chains, padlocks, safes, shackles and other heavy iron objects. His jaw-wrappings would be in shreds, and his rotten jaw would be dangling by a thread of cartilage over his chest.<\/li>\n<li><b>The Ghost of Christmas Past<\/b> - the obligatory hot chick of the line. In the novel this ghost is actually a kind of young\/old male spirit, but enough movie versions have made it a woman to make it work in the public imagination. This figure would just be a scantily-clad fairy, probably carrying a big candle extinguisher.<\/li>\n<li><b>The Ghost of Christmas Present<\/b> - described as a \"giant\" in the book, I envision McFarlane's version as a huge, gluttonous ogre. His base would be covered with half-eaten food and his magic torch would be more like a monstrous flaming club.<\/li>\n<li><b>The Ghost of Christmas Yet-to-Come<\/b> - C'mon, this one's easy! Personally I'd love something that looked like the thing from <i><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/B005HMHOZU\/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=lp&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B005HMHOZU\" target=amazon>Scrooged<\/a><\/i>, but I have faith that McFarlane would come up with something suitably monstrous.<\/li>\n<li><b>Tiny Tim<\/b> - This one would probably be the most tasteless (and there's always one in these Monsters lines). In the novel he wears those Forrest Gump-style leg braces and carries a crutch. I envision McFarlane's Tiny Tim as a hulking, deformed teenager with giant robotic braces on his legs\u2013and a crutch like a claymore.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Poe sez: yo suggested yesterday that McFarlane Toys create a second series of Twisted Xmas toys, this time based on Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. Given that it's a ghost story featuring supernatural creatures, graveyards, corpses, and Victorian-era values ripe &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.oafe.net\/blog\/2007\/12\/twisted-xmas-2-a-twistmas-carol\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7047","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lists","category-mcfarlane"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.oafe.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7047","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.oafe.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.oafe.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.oafe.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.oafe.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7047"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.oafe.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7047\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7061,"href":"http:\/\/www.oafe.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7047\/revisions\/7061"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.oafe.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7047"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.oafe.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7047"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.oafe.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7047"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}