Hal Jordan is a Pedophile

We get a lot of questions about this one, both on our message board and via email. "Hal Jordan is a pedophile" is our own little meme, like "Superman is a dick" or "It sucks being Sue Storm!" Of course, just like those, ours has a real basis in the comics.

It started with the character of Arisia, a 13-year-old GL with some serious daddy issues. She developed a crush on Hal, and in Green Lantern #205 and 206, she used her ring to physically mature her body so Hal would like her back. That link has a better analysis of the situation than we could manage, so go enjoy. Anyway, the story ends with Hal dry-humping this girl in a cave about an hour after he notices the change. Big hero.

Several writers kept this relationship alive, which means that Hal knew Arisia was actually still a child, but carried on a serial relationship with her anyway. It's recently been retconned that "13" on her home planet is equivalent to our "240," but that sure as hell wasn't the case when the character (and the concept) was introduced.

A more recent example comes from The Brave and the Bold #2, where Hal is flying in space with the new Supergirl:

I don't care how hot the girl is, normal people don't need to remind themselves when someone is underage. Especially not with such... fervor. I mean, come on, the guy works side by side with Black Canary - where's the comic that spends pages and pages on him reminding himself that she's married to Green Arrow?

Although, in Hal's defense, Supergirl did eventually end up dressing like this for him, so... wait, I forget how that was supposed to be mitigating. He was still forced to remind himself that she was underage. Let's face it: Hal Jordan is a pedophile.

Now, as one of our readers pointed out, "Technically pedophilia only applies to chasing after pre-pubescent kids. But there's definitely something skeevy about Hal Jordan. Like a 40-year-old guy who stands across the street from the high school and stares every day when class lets out." So yes, legally he's not a pedophile, he's more like a statutory rapist, or a plain ol' sex offender. But "pedo" is just a funnier word.

And that, friends, is why we say "Hal Jordan is a Pedophile."

(Bet you that Superman fans never have to get into debates about the difference between pedophilia and statutory rape, and which one their hero enjoys.)

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8 Responses to Hal Jordan is a Pedophile

  1. Ambrose Kalifornia says:

    It's legally defensible if she's hot.

  2. Rex says:

    that lil girl seduced poor old hal...and do you enjoy the symbolism of them entering the shaft? wow wats next? matt hanson gonna drive up to oa and arrest him?

  3. Onslaught says:

    Just read this again and I love it

    I never really thought of Superman as a dick, but I've never liked him.... I guess he is kinda a douche.

    The link for Sue didn't work for me... Why does it suck being her?

  4. John says:

    If she's old enough join the military she's old enough for sex.

  5. Dalyxia says:

    So she uses magic, to mature her body and the you use logic in a fantasy world.

    Urgent message: people cannot fly!!!! Therfor, your logic is invalid.

  6. Tj says:

    A lot of you are child predators as well u sick fucks

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