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The Tick

The Tick
by Poe Ghostal

It recently occurred to me that there are too many positive toy reviews out there. The reason is this: if it's not your job to review toys, you're probably only going to do it when you like the figure.

Well, I'm going to buck the trend. I've taken time out of my (admittedly not that busy) day to review for you a toy that simply isn't that great. This is so you, the buyer, can be more discriminating in yor purchases, saving money for those toys that will give you long-lasting enjoyment.

The Tick was a hilarious television show that was on for about a week and a half last year before being cancelled. "The Tick" is also an action figure series by N2 Toys based on the aforementioned show. The Tick action figure line probably never should have been made - at least, not like this.

I don't get N2 Toys. I hate to beat up on an anemic opponent, but the product N2 Toys put out are distinguishable from generic toys like [GI Joe knockoffs] The CORPS! only by the quality of their licenses. Like their Matrix line, the Tick line has pretty bad likenesses. It's funny; from a distance the likenesses look okay, but the closer you get, the stranger it seems. I look at the Tick and I can tell he's Putty from Seinfeld, [?? --ed.] yet something's... just not right.

I'll give N2 Toys credit for a decent body sculpt, and I'm willing to give a little on the likenesses. They gave the articulation a shot: the Tick here has balljointed shoulders. But why a V-crotch? Why no elbows, no knees, no ankles? Look, it's either sculpting or articulation, take your pick. But N2 has delivered neither. What you have is a rather generic-looking muscled figure with uninteresting articulation. He comes with extra hands - two fists and two open hands - but they're a little small for the body, oddly enough.

The main reason I dislike this figure is it's just so boring. It's probably a little too tall - it's 7", and 6" might have been better. Aside from the hands, the only other accessory is a "Superhero I.D. card." Again, uninteresting. Admittedly, the Tick doesn't have carry weapons, but couldn't they have come up with something? The answer is probably no, since N2 Toys is a small company and has to cut corners to save money. But N2 Toys has had several licenses with which to make a name for themselves, and they have consistently blown it. Remember the 12" Morpheus that looked nothing like Lawrence Fishburne? What N2 needs is a little something to distinguish their lines - maybe give the Tick kickass articulation, or an awesome likeness, or great accessories. We get none of the above. For $10 - TEN DOLLARS!!! - you get a lump of blue plastic that hardly moves, can't stand up straight, and doesn't look anything like the source material. That's not a value.

Apparently, after the Tick line bombed, N2 Toys quickly changed their name to Mirage Toys. Since then, they've attempted to gain some respectability by making some decent toys based on Disney's Kingdom Hearts videogame, while giving up their beloved Matrix license to McFarlane. It's really a shame. N2 had a great opportunity with the Tick license, and they blew it. They should take a good look at small companies like Mezco or Art Asylum, who can make quality licensed figures (like Reservoir Dogs and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) with good likenesses and fantastic articulation for practically the same price as N2's Tick.

-- 02/01/03

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