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Hulk Hands

The Hulk movie
by Shocka

We're drawing towards the end of Retro Month, and little is left to be said. Except for two gigantic hulking fists.

boxed gloves

Yes, the most awesome toy of 2003 which belongs in every household, college dorm, office and church is now to be reviewed at OAFE, and what better way to cap off Feburary? ROAR HULK SMASH!!!!

Prepare for fisting! Huge and lumbering, the big fists are about 12" by 7" by 7", made of green foam perfect for SMASHING!!! Each one is built up nice and heavy, but also nice and soft so that the kids (screw the kids, this is a toy for everyone!) can get a grip on them as they punch each other like big stupid boxing gloves. The design is simple and fun - simply put your hands into the big fists, grab onto the handle inside, then punch stuff! It's abusive fun for the whole family.

Black power! Double the fun with the fact that the gloves themselves make smashing sounds and the occasional Hulk ROAR!!! thanks to the speakers inside, and you've got the ideal toy for all ages. Birthdays, weddings, every occasion calls for Hulk Fists. Raise a toast to the bride and groom with a Hulk ROAAAAAARRRR!! to make the most memorable wedding ever! The fun never stops with wedding-day fisting!

These big fellas sold very well last year, even though you'd see a ton of them pulled from their packages to be played with in stores, they were still the must-own toy for 2003. Yes, it's not technically an action figure, but who cares? If yo can review DVDs and games and crap, I can review foam hands. Everyone needs a set! Other companies have seemingly picked up on the appeal too - whichever brain-trust came up with the idea for Hulk fists is cleary some rare kind of genius who must be treasured. Treasured and abused.

Scrawny whiteboy not included.

Further proving their popularity, Marvel's keeping these nifty items in production, now in a brighter green and branded as part of the Hulk Classics line - so if you missed the first run of the fists, you can pick them up now!

As for the groups that declare items like this to be bad - perpetuating violence - I think that wackos like Rev. Rose completely miss the point. Yes, there's punching, but kids are always going to hit each other, and wouldn't you rather they be holding soft foam hands than hard plastic figures when they do it? These fists are fun, and it'd be difficult to really hurt someone with these. So, so much fun! Buy now!!!

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