The Action Figures... In Action:
Episode 5 (SOTG)

"What the...? I've had it up to here with you two! I leave the table for five minutes to check on the food and all you two can do is fight about who's gonna carve the turkey?!? I'm sick of these family get togethers we've been having. Every time it's the same thing - some small disagreement turns into a shouting match. Then the lightsabers come out, you start with the "my schwartz is bigger than yours" bull, and the next thing I know my apartment is wrecked!"

"Bo, you asked for my opinion so I gave it to you. I know you want to buy this hunk o' junk but I'm here to tell you it just isn't worth it. It's overpriced, doesn't have any electronics, and you didn't look like you even fit in the seat. And what's this "battle damaged" paint job? Back when I was a kid, you paid less if a ship was rusty, banged up, and painted more than three different colors!"

The rest of the gang thought Han's idea of creating a webpage devoted to the zany misadventures of the "little men" in his collection was just plain ridiculous. At times he agreed with them. But other times he knew his little scheme was so crazy that it just might work...

"Oh, OK. I'll try to speak up Luke. I said that we're sorry that we can't let you out. If you were wearing the black vest we'd let you go in a minute... but you're just too dang rare to liberate from that package. Shoot, I was lucky I was .01 in "carbon block" or else Leia woulda had me right here beside you! She's a ruthless one, pal."

Speaking of non-flattering pictures, here's one of Luke from a few years back. After changing his hair color like six times back in the eighties, Luke took on this peculiar look for a while... I think I'll title this one," I'm the mighty Bendie Knight and I'll bop you with my little blue club!"

Lando liked to wear the big collars and bell bottoms. And he knew that the rest of the gang called him "Disco Lando" behind his back... But that all changed when the lights went low and the soothing sounds of the '70s echoed through the room. The crowd would always gather in respect - because that's when Lando caught the "groove train" and performed his stirring rendition of "YMCA"...

Poetry Corner

My Vest, My Sentence
(A Haiku)

Luke Jedi - tan vest
Trapped forever, mint on card.
He should have worn black.

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