This page is dedicated to the rarest of the rare, opened POF2 merchandise. Purists should be forewarned that the following images graphically depict POF2 action figures and vehicles in manners that many would consider blasphemy. The faint of heart should turn back now before seeing the unthinkable; figures liberated from their plastic and cardboard prisons along with vehicles actually removed from the boxes... with stickers applied.

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The Action Figures... In Action:
Episode 13

"But the strangest part happened while I was waiting for the smoke to clear. I was still hunkered down behind my cannon, like so, when these two little kids appear out of nowhere and start yelling at me! One says something like, "Hey pal, you killed Lenny!" Then the other one starts calling me names. I tell ya, this job's gettin' too weird for me!"

From the Emperor's photo album: the first, and most certainly last, time someone tried the "pull my finger" trick on Darth Vader.

"No, no, it has nothing at all to do with comfort, Leia. It's just... well... choking Jabba with the very chains he used to enslave you was classic poetic justice. But having him stuffed and turned into a couch? That went just a little too far."

"No, you listen buddy! I don't care how old you say you are. My partner Lou over there says your ID is fake and I'm inclined to agree with him. You can bark, whine, or howl at the moon for all I care but you are not getting into this cantina tonight. And trust me, Karaoke Thursday is not the night to try my patience!

"Ladies and gentlemen, representatives from all major lines, I thank you for attending this special ceremony. For many years I have worn the crown but now must pass it along to someone more worthy. Without further ado, I present the POF2 Emperor's Royal Guard. May he now, and henceforth, be recognized as the Lamest Star Wars Action Figure Ever!"

For some strange reason, Yoda lost all sense of etiquette while playing Space Invaders. As Han reached for the reset button, the victorious little Jedi once again hopped on Sparky's back, threw the joystick to the ground, and performed his quirky little dance while singing "Can't Touch This."

Question: Who looks like Han and dresses like Han, but certainly doesn't act like Han? Introducing Rico Solo™, Han's evil cousin from the next county over! Even Grandma Solo wouldn't be able to tell them apart - except that Rico likes to sport a sinister little mustache. Watch for these figures coming soon: Original Rico Solo (shown right), Rico in Carbonite, Rico in Hoth Gear, Rico in Stormtrooper Disguise, Bespin Rico, and Rico in Endor Trenchcoat.

Oh my! It's the all new C-3PO with Atomic Wedgie, the first in the Atomic Wedgie Series™! Each figure comes with a wedgie expertly crafted using real material. Look for all your favorite characters to be appearing with wedgie in winter '98. (C-3PO with Removable Wedge will be shipping first quarter of 1999.)

Space Invaders, Missile Command and Pac Man are no challenge for this Jedi! Yoda the Atari Master comes packaged with woodgrained Atari 2600 and joystick accessories. Look for other exciting offerings in the Yoda With Various Accessories ™ Line including Yoda with Muffin Pan and Yoda with Socket Wrench.

Action Figures in Action, Encore Presentations:

Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3 Episode 4
Episode 5 Episode 6 Episode 7 Episode 8
Episode 9 Episode 10 Episode 11 Episode 12

Amy-Lou, via email, writes:

Dear POFToo gang,
You killed Kenny! You b@st%rds!

Amy-Lou, rest assured that no one - human, alien, or otherwise - was injured while filming this episode of POFToo! That Kenny was able to convince you of his untimely passing is a testament to his great skills as an actor. It was truly a joy to work with an artist of his caliber!

- Rampage Gonk