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Figuretoon Quickies

"Sonja Auditions"
6/30/10

Here we see Rose McGowan trying out for the role of Red Sonja.

...

What, you want more than that? Okay, fine. In case the controversy (and her career) is forgotten by the time you're reading this, in 2008 Rose signed to play the titular character in Robert Rodriguez's 2009 Red Sonja film. Because she was sleeping with him at the time, and, like real-world best friends Kevin Smith and Tim Burton, Rodriguez casts whoever he's dating in his movies, whether it makes sense or not. Anyway, the film keeps getting pushed back, and the only evidence any work's been done on it at all are a few posters of McGowan as Sonja, which as well may be nothing more than a studio-funded spank bank for Rob Rod. Confusing the issue is the fact that Rose is also in the upcoming Conan film... but not as Sonja. Yeah.

The banner behind her says "Hyrkanian Idol" - Hyrkania being the land Sonja's from. Sometimes. See, technically, Red Sonja is a Marvel Comics creation - she's based on an actual Robert E. Howard creation, Red Sonya, but Sonya was was a 16th-century Russian gun bunny, not a contemporary of Conan in a chainmail bikini. The "oath" they're referring to is part of Sonja's (not Sonya's) rapey backstory.

Vision-Impaired Transcript

Announcer: Okay, tell us why you think you should be the next Red Sonja.
Rose McGowan: Uh, well, I did that oath thing. You know? The one where you only sleep with people who can defeat you in combat?
Announcer: Alright, so are you a virgin then, or...
Rose McGowan: Let's just say it turns out this leg-gun isn't as effective as the movie made it look.
Announcer: So that's a no, then.
Rose McGowan: Not even close.

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