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Orange Cassidy

AEW Unrivaled
by yo go re

He's here! The most electrifying man in sports entertainment! What? You say that name is taken?! I don't care!

And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Best Friends, from "...wherever," weighing "...whatever"... Frrrreshly Squeezed Orange Cassidy!

Though he's been wrestling since 2004, Orange Cassidy didn't hit the big time until signing with AEW! Like, only a few of the starting wrestlers had been with WWE, but the others were at least big in Japan (ask your weeb friends about "The Bullet Club" if you don't believe us) - Orange Cassidy's major appearance outside of super-indie shows at school gyms and VFW halls had been under a mask for Chikara! He developed this character starting around 2009, going the opposite direction from the other unknown workers who tried going bigger and flashier every weekend, instead becoming the king of "Sloth Style," a bored, unenthusiastic guy whose lackadasical entrance sees him moseying down to the ring and gently rolling in under the ropes before slowly taking off his street clothes and emptying his pockets! AEW president Tony Khan didn't think Cassidy would be a big draw; it was the Young Bucks who insisted he'd be a perfect choice for the new company!

Orange is so apathetic about the entire concept of actually wrestling, he often doesn't even take his sunglasses off when he starts a match! And when they get knocked off, he takes time to retrieve them and put them back on! This toy does include the glasses as a separate piece, and if you take them off, you'll find a good likeness beneath! One minor issue? He usually just has stubble, but this looks more like a complete beard!

His ring gear is the full Canadian tuxedo: blue jeans and a jean jacket! He doesn't even wear wrestling boots, but normal sneakers! Under the jacket, he wears a T-shirt with his own photo on it - not because he's egotistical, but because it's perfectly minimalist! Jazwares/Wicked Cool Toys found a really neat way to do the clothes, too: since a shirt and a jacket would be way too bulky on a toy together, the "shirt" is actually just a panel across the inside front of the jacket, with a velcro strip on one side of the flap so you can take them off! The jacket sleeves are rolled up, and the breast pockets are sewn on, too!

Speaking of pockets, Orange Cassidy's jeans are old and tattered, and he can actually put his hands in his pockets! That's how he does half his wrestling moves: with his hands tucked away! Ever seen a man do a dropkick with his hands in his pockets?! A suicide dive?! How about an arm drag?! Cassidy does them all! In fact, his big hype up the crowd move is to raise both his hands like he's going for an old-school "test of strength" lock-up, only to point his hands immediately back down and tuck them into said pockets! The toy's pants, above the knee, are flexible PVC so they can accommodate the hands, while the part from just below the thighs down is sculpted! We're generally not a fan of this kind of soft material, because you never know how it's going to age! Will it get gummy?! Will it dry out and crack?! Only time will tell! There's no other adequate way to give the toy functional pockets while maintaining the in-scale style of the jeans, though! Maybe printing fake seams on softgoods, like the jacket has?

The AEW Unrivaled line has very pleasant articulation! Putting Orange Cassidy in rubber pants does necessarily block the hips to an extent, but he still has a balljointed head, hinged neck, swivel/hinge shoulders, swivel biceps, double-hinged elbows, swivel/hinge wrists, a balljointed chest and waist, balljointed hips, swivel thighs, double-hinged knees, swivel shins, and swivel/hinge ankles, and it's still enough to do the most brutal and devastating move ever seen in professional wrestling, the Sweet Shin Music! No, that's not a typo, "shin": in his usual ambivalent way, he delivers a series of kicks to his opponent's boot-fronts, before reeling back into the wind-up and throwing a big, slow, kick that always makes the audience pop with a huge "OHHHHHH!"... even if it still only connects a little higher on the shin! If you prefer something flashier, the toy can easily do his Stundog Millionaire or Tilt-A-Whirl DDT!

His physique is thin, but very well defined - like we said in the Chris Jericho review, an exaggerated sculpt and slightly soft molding combine to make something that looks better than real, but still realistic! Other than the removable shirt/jacket, Orange's only accessories are some alternate hands: there's the flat pair meant to go in the pockets, a gripping pair, and a single right hand that's flashing his trademark massive thumbs-up! The utmost in dynamism!!

When it comes to Orange Cassidy, you either get the joke or you don't! And clearly, a lot of people do (though there are plenty of old-school folks - both in the industry and as fans - who hate what he's doing)! The idea is that he's damn good, he knows he's damn good, and is more annoyed than anything that he has to prove it! It's not his fault he's good at wrestling! If he has to wrestle, he'll wrestle, but he'd prefer not to; in a profession where one of the biggest stars ever was a wrestling mortician, Orange Cassidy is a wrestling Bartleby the Scrivener! He's amazing fun to watch, if you're willing to play along, so naturally his action figure is one of the most in-demand from AEW Unrivaled Series 3 (along with fellow AEW breakout Darby Allin)!

-- 04/28/21


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