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Avengers: Endgame
by yo go re

There's just something about the fat bearded guy that feels right to review today.

As if there weren't already enough amazing things going on in Endgame, Thor has one of the most heartbreaking (and uplifting) arcs ever committed to film. We begin with him vainly trying to correct his own past mistake, but finding that revenge is not the same thing as catharsis - take notes, Bruce. From there he spirals into depression, but not just the typical Hollywood "oh, I have a bit of a sad today" depiction of depression, the real thing. Clinical depression. Thor spent five years afflicted with an illness, and like any disease, it took its toll on him. So you can cry when Scott Lang runs to Cassie's house, you can cry at "on your left," you can cry when Pepper is holding it together for Tony's sake until he's gone, you can cry at all the Steve and Peggy moments, but nothing gets me like Thor reaching out to summon Mjolnir: until the very second the handle hit his hand, Thor fully believed in his heart of hearts that he was unworthy because he'd failed. Five years of living that life with that feeling inside you would kick anybody's ass, believe me.

"Fat Thor" is the Build-A-Figure for the third series of Endgame toys. Buy all six of them - including the Vision we haven't reviewed because he's 98.5% identical to the Infinity War figure (he's semi-translucent and doesn't include any fists; there are your differences) - and you can assemble all the loose pieces into a complete figure. Make sure you push the arms all the way in so they don't pop out when you move them.

Thor is dressed super casually, wearing slippers Crocs, fuzzy flanel pajama pants, a hoodie, and a robe. Also fingerless gloves, for some reason? The robe is PVC, and has an extra piece plugged into the sides to allow the sash to hang loosely, rather than simply being sculpted on. Similarly, the hood and drawstrings on his sweatshirt are molded separately from the chest, making them flexible enough to fit over top of the robe. It really does look very comfortable, and provides an easy new cosplay for lazy guys everywhere! (And as a lazy guy, just allow me to say "thank you"; now, to start growing my hair!)

You get your choice of two different heads, one with sunglasses and one without. Otherwise the two are identical, showing the long, unwashed hair and thick beard that led to Tony calling him "Lebowski" - which means that The Big lebowski exists as a movie in the MCU. Do you think anyone ever noticed that Obadiah Stane looked exactly like the actor in that? Or did the MCU version star someone else? Who then went on to star in True Grit with a guy who looked suspiciously like Thanos and a guy who was virtually identical to the Asgaardian actor who played Loki in Loki's glowing autobio production?

Thor moves at the head, neck, shoulders, biceps, elbows, wrists, chest, hips, thighs, knees, and ankles. His accessories include a new-mold version of Stormbreaker and an alternate left hand sculpted with the Time Heist GPS, similar to those seen on the other heroes. That seems... superfluous. Why bother with the hand that doesn't have it? It's not such a major thing that it would look inappropriate being on the figure all the time, and now we've got one more accessory that might be easily lost. They'd have been better off spending that part of the budget on a pair of headphones for Thor to disappear into whenever any serious conversations are going on.

Thor's physical transformation was played more for laughs than Tony's was - he's "Lebowski," but you don't see anyone calling Tony "[NOTE: LOOK UP THE NAME OF CHRISTIAN BALE'S CHARACTER IN THE MACHINIST]" after all - but the character's message is a great one, especially for anyone with depression: You. Are. Still. Worthy. It's an illness, not a flaw. You are worthy of love, respect, relationships, fun, enchanted hammers, everything... Thor's worthy of it, even though he didn't believe he was, and so are you. Plus, his PTSD doesn't go away immediately, his friends recognize he has limitations that he's unwilling to admit to, he still has work to do on himself... but he's still a hero and he's still worthy. So getting a "warrior Thor" might have been more toyetic, but Hasbro instead gave us the one that's more meaningful.

Iron Patriot | Captain America | Heimdall | Iron Man | Valkyrie | Vision

-- 12/25/19

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