Pirate Pack

In addition to "starter kit" Shockinis, Shocker Toys offer a few accessory packs, so you can deck your 'kini out in new gear. That's the idea behind the Pirate Pack, here. The Shockini accessory packs are different than, say, the Stikfas theme kits (for example). You're not getting a whole new figure, you're just getting the accessories. That's going to make some people mad, and some people happy. Others will be indifferent. Why mad? Because you're paying as much to get a few pieces of extra plastic as you paid to get a complete Shockini figure. A figure that came with accessories. That's a pretty big rip-off, right? At least when you bought a Stikfas, you were getting a body to put all that gear on. So, who could be happy about this state of affairs? Well, me, for one, but I'm not telling you how to feel. I already have a few Shockinis; I don't need another generic body in order to put this new pile of loot to good use. Plus, even though the accessories cost the same as a plain figure, that cost is half as much as a complete Stikfas, keeping the price reasonable. Enough preamble! On with the review! The Undead Scalper has agreed to chip in by modeling the Pirate Pack for us today. Give him a hand, folks! Never ones to pass up a handy segue like that, we'll start by looking at the three items designed to go on the Shockini's body: a tricorner hat, a peg leg and a hook. The hat seemed problematic at first, but it does fit nicely on the head - you just can't try to put it on at an angle. It has to be perfectly square. The hook is a great offering, very simple but very much like what you would expect. It's the standard question mark-shaped hook with a square block at the wrist. The Shockini's hand pops off at the wrist and the hook replaces it, so it wasn't made oversized to fit over the end of the limb or anything. The peg leg is surprisingly complex, and replaces everything from the knee down. It's hard to pop the body parts off, but you'll manage. Because a rusty metal hook and a blunt wooden stump aren't enough weaponry for a murderous pirate, the accessory pack also includes a sword, a gun and a spyglass. Each has a peg that fits into the standard Shockini hand, and you can even get the telescope into the hook if you're careful. The gun is a really strange design, kind of deformed to fit the Shockini asthetic, so it almost looks like an astrolabe or a sextant or something. The sword is no good, because it was designed badly: either the blade is backwards or the handguard is, but Shocker really screwed the pooch here. There's more to pirate life than just lost appendages and poorly made weapons, and there's more to this set, as well: specifically, a cannon and a wheel. The cannon is hollow and sadly does not have any cannonballs (or any mechanism to fire them). Its wheels are glued in place, rather than free-rolling. The steering wheel is actually in a little podium thing, with a beam sticking out the front. Why? Hell if I know; I'm not a sailor. It looks right, which is all that matters, really. There's a footpeg so your pirate can stand securely. Not that he won't stand by himself. Finally, the Pirate Pack has a sheet of stickers: faces, tattoos, a treasure map... that kind of stuff. The accessories are packaged on a blister card, though the printing on the card seems fuzzy - it looks like the resolution of the file was too low. The pictures on the back of the card are all computer-generated graphics, which is pretty crappy, because then you don't know what the figure is actually going to look like. 3D Studio Max isn't a substitute for a camera, guys. Also, the body copy refers to the starter kits, not the accessory pack. Low rent. The Shockini Pirate Pack isn't perfect, and the way Shocker has chosen to sell these is sure to piss off some people. But despite all that, it's fun to dress your Shockini up, to make him a pirate. If you already have a basic Shockini (and if you don't, what's wrong with you?), the Pirate Pack is a worthy addition. Accessory packs: with a figure or without a figure? Tell us on our message board, The Loafing Lounge.

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