Uncanny Spider-Man

A "retro" figure from 2023. Swashbuckling hero Nightcrawler teleports around New York City while masquerading as a new Spider-Man and trying to avoid anti-mutant organization Orchis. When Beast joined the Avengers, it served to highlight how the general Marvel public hates mutants, but accepts every other origin. People love the Avengers, so suddenly he was popular instead of hated and feared. Meanwhile, Spider-Man may not be as fully targeted as the X-Men are, but Nightcrawler opting to borrow his identity is still more of a lateral move than an upgrade. We were going to review this figure for April Fools' Day, with the joke being that we didn't have it yet, but that Hasbro is so reliable that we could already tell you about it anyway. But then Amazon had to ruin things by having it in stock and on sale for under $20, so there went that idea! We'd have been wrong anyway, because I was expecting the usual skinny body, but this one is is shorter and smoother. It's less surprising that the arms and legs come from the X-Men '97 figure (because the glove and boot details are sculpted in). The hands, feet, and tail are the same Hasbro's been using for their Nightcrawlers since the beginning, but the head had to be new. Like every Spider-Man, Kurt wore a full-face mask, which was great for disguising the fact he was a blue mutant. Not helping with that deception, however, was the fact the mask still had his big pointy ears sticking out the sides. Why? It's not like Canny Spider-Man's ears are individually cupped by his mask, so why is this one? The answer is obviously "so he still looks recognizable as Nightcrawler in the comicbook art," but what diagetic reason is there? The prevailing theory on the in-universe message boards was that he was some sort of devil, with people interpretting those as horns, rather than ears. And on that note, the suit also lovingly cradles his tail. In the first issue of the comic, Peter actually brings that up when Kurt thanks him for the loan of an old costume, but he evades the question. My question, meanwhile, is if this is one of Spider-Man's old suits, shouldn't it look like one of Spider-Man's old suits? The triangular red spider-symbol on the chest does a fun job of suggesting Nightcrawler's only popular costume, but where did that come from? Spider-Man never wore anything with this design, so was Kurt just hanging out in his room with a bunch of markers for hours, coloring in new patterns on old spandex? Like we said, some of these parts are the same Hasbro's been using since 2019, which really means that if they'd spent a little more money to do proper articulation back then, they'd have absolutely paid for themselves by now. He's got a balljointed head, hinged neck, pectoral hinges, swivel/hinge shoulders, double-hinged elbows, swivel/hinge wrists, a hinged torso, swivel waist, swivel tail, balljointed hips, swivel thighs, double-hinged knees, and swivel/hinge ankles, but imagine how much more it would suit the character if he had hinged toes, or a tail that was anything other than a single, solid piece on a swivel joint. Drop-down hips like Maximum Spider-Man has would be wonderful, too. Spinnenmann has a decent assortment of alternate hands, as well as a sword. It's not the same cutlass the other versions have had, but a plainer blade that's probably supposed to represent the Hopesword: his adoptive mother (an evil sorceress) utilized his latest crisis of faith to turn his innate optimism into a magical weapon. And then tried to steal it. It's kind of like Magik's Soulsword, but different. Unfortunately, the Hopesword is supposed to be glowing white, just a pure blank shape, but this accessory is fully painted. The blade is straight (and fairly rounded at the tip), with a plain, wide crossguard and a layered hilt ending in a flat pommel. Only one hand is shaped even vaguely correctly to hold it, but the fingers aren't open wide enough naturally - you'll have to stretch them. The figure also includes a small purple explosion effect, to make it look like he's teleporting around. What a fun extra to include! It's molded in translucent purple, then the hollow interior is painted solid white to give it contrast and make it appear denser. The first issue of the comic shows why Nightcrawler as Spider-Man makes sense: there may be various Spider-Folk all over the city (Peter, Miles, Gwen, etc.), but they all share the same reliance on buildings and webs to get around, so criminals had figured out they could escape by cutting through Central Park; since Kurt didn't need webs to locomote, he could operate in there quite easily. Uncanny Spider-Man was a short-lived story but an interesting idea, and the fact it's gotten an action figure is a true surprise. -- 04/22/26 What is the deal with that costume? Tell us on our message board, the Loafing Lounge.