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Wario

World of Nintendo
by yo go re

The only game I've ever played with Wario in it is Super Smash Bros. Brawl, but I remember his first appearance, so I guess I've been hypnotized into wanting this toy.

Though he's lacking in the speed and agility departments (not to mention smarts), when you need a little muscle, Wario's your man! His powerful moves can break objects and beat up enemies.

To the English-speaking world, Wario's name is just a lazy pun on Mario's - they flipped the M upside down to be a W, thus referencing "war" and letting us know he's evil. Ah, but that's a mistake! Wario wasn't named in the English-speaking world, he was named in Japan. And in Japanese, the word warui (悪い) means "bad," so the name Wario is a contraction of "Warui Mario" - "Bad Mario" - and the fact that it forms a pun in English is just a coincidence. That's why Waluigi's name seems to be straight gibberish to us!

Wario is Mario's evil twin, but less Mirror Universe/Earth-3 and more Bizarro. He has all the same features as Mario, but they're pointy and exaggerated. Just look at his jagged mustache! He has a giant pink nose, googly eyes, pointed ears, and a surprisingly square chin. And look at that smile of his - it wraps all the way around the sides of his face, and is nothing but firmly gritted teeth! He's not at all friendly, like Mario; he's a psycho!

Even his clothes are a parody of Mario's: he wears the same sort of cap, a pair of overalls, and white gloves. He originally even had long sleeves, though these days his lower arms are bare. The pointy genie slippers, though? That's a Wario original! The sculpt isn't very detailed - just like we saw on Bowser - but they did make sure that the buttons really look like they're stuck through buttonholes in his straps. That's more of an effort than we were expecting from this line.

Where Mario had a little pot-belly, Wario is super girthy. His torso is literally wider than it is tall, and his legs are shorter than his hands. This tubbiness is demonstrated in a way even more surprising than the buttons mentioned above: they sculpted his bread-back! His purple overalls must be cutting in, because his yellow shirt is spilling over the edges. Considering he also has the strength of a cartoon Hercules, a little more definition in his arms would not have gone awry.

On paper, Wario's articulation isn't much better than Bowser's - he's definitely nowhere near Link level, that's for sure - but in practice, his articulation feels nicer than King Koopa's. Wario has a swivel neck, but his can actually turn; his swivel/hinge shoulders have an actual useful range of motion; his elbows and wrists move the same way (hinges and swivels, respectively); and though he doesn't have swivel/hinge hips, his swivel ankles suffice. So it's not the most articulated thing in the world, but he beats Koopa by virtue of having room to actually use most of his joints.

Wario's colors are yellow and purple, because apparently nothing says "evil clone" like the Lakers. He's got green shoes and white gloves, and there's a white stripe on the brim of his hat. There are dark blue W's on his hat and gloves. His nose is pinker than the rest of his skin, and there are pale blue lines at the edges of his eyes.

Like Link, he comes with a secret accessory - his is in a box shaped like a Question block, so that might count as a second accessory if you want it to. Since Wario's main character trait is his greed, he comes with a single yellow coin. It's got a 1¼" diameter, making it just slightly larger than the SH Figuarts coins.

Wario could maybe stand to be a little bit larger, but this is a very nice toy for $9. But again, since everything in Jakks' World of Nintendo line that isn't Mario or Yoshi is severely shortpacked, so you may not be able to find him for that price. If you want him, be patient, but be ready to grab him as soon as he appears.

-- 12/13/14


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