The Action Figures... In Action:
Episode 3

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"Luke, Leia - great costumes! Yeah, the whole gang's here - Chewie's back there and Lando is one of the thirteen or fourteen Boba Fetts that came to the party this year. Make sure to check out the hors d'oeuvres that the green guy with the ponytail is passing around on his blue platters. They're simply to die for!"

"Oh Han, we'll get you loose from this carbonite chamber!"

"Hang on one cotton-pickin' minute. He's not actually encased in the carbonite, he's just hiding behind it!"

"... Luke, are you even listening to me?"
"I'm trying to but this helmet is so dang small!"
"What I was saying was-- "
"I mean, it really hurts! I don't think there's any blood left in my head!"
"But Luke, this is important. We--"
"I can't even see straight now... Having... difficulty... forming... sen... ten... ces... Ohhhh."

"Yes, I realize the helmets are uncomfortable. But Luke, think about it this way - I got her to put it on by promising we'd all wear them. Personally I'll take the discomfort of the helmet over the hurtin' she's causing my eyes! Face it Luke, she's not the most attractive woman we've run across."

You have got to be the most incompetant evil henchman I have ever hired! I said, "I want to have the new Death Star's plans," not "I want two halves of a big blue clam!"

Here's one of me right before the junior prom in '78. As Luke has so kindly pointed out, my head was a little too small for my body. Heh, heh, those were awkward times... The funny part is that not too long after the prom, my head grew to about the size of a pumpkin! I mean it was huge! If people weren't calling me "Big Head Han" they were making cracks like, "That's no moon, it's Han's Head" Yup, I heard 'em all...

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