Frag-Viper

From the same executive boardroom that brought you "I went hawking last weekend" comes "say, have you lads ever tried jai alai?" The standard-issue hurling basket used by the Frag-Viper can toss high-explosive fragmentation grenades with all the range and accuracy of a rocket propelled grenade launcher but without the noise from the muzzle blast and at triple the speed. Okay, that's slightly reductive of me: jai alai wasn't some obscure new thing in 1989; it had been a minor fad in the late '60s/early '70s, which is why there's a Mad Men episode about it. So using that as the basis for a new GI Joe figure was less about cashing in on what someone saw as the hot new trend and was more about "hey, remember this thing?" Like the difference betweeen making a character today who's based on pickleball vs. one based on frisbee golf. Look out, Joes, here come the Razor-Scooter-Vipers! A significant part of jai alai's appeal at the time was as a source for gambling, but casinos and lotteries ate into that, which is why it was on the decline by the '80s. The Frag-Viper Corps were one of the many faceless hordes Cobra employed, but that's been changed today - even more than the SAW-Viper was! Beneath the helmet that figure had a ski mask that only exposed his eyes and mouth, while the weird bug/alien shaped dome here can be removed to reveal a face exposed by an "X-Men"-style head sock thing. Granted, the face we see has inhumanly pale skin and what appear to be cybernetic eyes, so it's still somewhat genericized, but it's a feature the character has never had before and hints at a backstory we don't get to know. Or rather, that we get to make up for ourselves. Like, Joe intel used to say Frag-Vipers' helmets included an automatic range-finder, but maybe they got that wrong and the tech was never in the helmets at all? Up to you! In the '80s, the Frag Viper had a very odd costume. The base suit was very simple, with almost no details other than the large stitches or whatever running up his chest to hold the shirt closed; then he had a sash with several strips of cloth hanging off it to support the gear he carried. It was certainly... a choice. This one has a more detailed uniform, thanks to getting most of its sculpt from existing sources; the torso and legs have been used with Grunt, Retro Snake-Eyes, etc., the arms are the same as the SAW-Viper's, stuff like that. It's covered with a new harness that has its own molded textures, as well as two wired devices right on the front of the shoulders - as long as we're giving them tech eyes, maybe those things stimulate the arm muscles in exactly the way needed to hit their target every time? There's a bit of armor worn on the left forearm, but none on the right. Though don't worry, that will be balanced out when we get to the accessories. The vintage figure was fairly distinct among the ranks of Cobra, thanks to its dark mustard colored uniform and sky blue accents - a highly unusual choice. This one changes things up a bit, by making the majority of his suit a vibrant orange instead of the muted tan, but adds brown panels onto the chest and arms to keep the color values grounded. Most of his webgear is a slightly dark blue, but the cloth sash around the chest is very light, so we've got two tones of both his major colors. The helmet's silver with black lenses, and as we said his skin is as white as a Prometheus Engineer's, with a few precisely angular red scars and eyes that have black sclera around their similarly white-and-red irises. He's got the usual articulation: barbell head, ball-jointed neck, swivel/hinge shoulders on pectoral hinges, swivel biceps, double-hinged elbows, swivel/hinge wrists, hinged chest, balljointed waist, hips that are a balljoint mounted on a hinge, swivel thighs, double-hinged knees, swivel ankles, and swivel/hinge feet. His stats are Ordnance 1, Launcher 2, Siegecraft 1, and Explosives 2, which all seem kind of low? Like, the '89 filecard said "a G.I. Joe armed with a M-203 40mm grenade launcher can manage a firing rate of five rounds-per-minute and as soon as he pops the first round, everybody and his uncle knows where he is. A Frag-Viper, with a fifty round magazine and automatic feeder, can deliver fifteen rounds-per-minute and you'll never have any idea where they're coming from"; that sounds like more than 1's and 2's to me. The Frag-Viper has a pair of compact submachine guns that fit into the giant holsters on his legs, but obviously the dominant accessory is his backpack and launcher. The cestus (that's what the scoop thing is called) fits onto the right forearm, which is why there was no armor there, and connects via a thick tube to the backpack, which is full of sculpted grenades waiting to be loaded and flung. The original figure had three loose grenades, this new one doesn't: all he gets is a single grenade in a cloud of smoke, designed to look like he's just hurled it out of the tip of his glove. That's cool, but if that one gets some red to break up the black, shouldn't all the ones visible in his backpack? Or do they only light up like that when their pin has been pulled, so to speak? The helmet also counts as an accessory, since it's hollow and not just a swappable head. It's sculpted with small rivets and a grille over the mouth, and has a small tube that plugs into the top of the backpack to connect the (kayfabe) electronics to one another. I think I may have had the vintage Frag-Viper, but I can't be sure. I know I definitely didn't plan to pick up this new version, but randomly finding it on the shelf at Target was such an unexpected treat that I got it on a whim. (And that's why getting product into stores is more important than all the digital releases in the world.) The Frag-Viper may not be the greatest update Classified has given us, but it's a lot better than expected. -- 07/18/25 What forgotten sport would you turn into a military specialty? Tell us on our message board, the Loafing Lounge.