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Dog Alien

Movie Maniacs
by Shocka

The Dog Alien is a very flawed figure by McFarlane Toys. It stands out as the worst in the Movie Maniacs 6, Todd's series dedicated to the Alien and Predator movies, and possibly the entire Movie Maniacs line. Difficult to say exactly where the figure went so wrong, I'll give you a play-by-play description of exactly what doesn't work about this figure.

1. Figure is nothing like a dog.
That's the first thing you notice about the supposed "dog" Alien is that it's not a dog at all. Instead, McFarlane Toys has gone for the strange monster look that's applied to too many of their other figures, like the recent Twisted Land of Oz Toto and the slightly older Oprah Winfrey figure from the abandoned "Iron Hoochie" line. I'm going to attribute this to the McToys sculptors hitting the 'shrooms too hard. The McDog is crouched in a pose kind of like a dog, with its main body about 6" in length, but unlike hounds, it can stand on its hind legs for a bit of poseability. Great if you're into that kind of thing, I s'pose.

Also gone from the normal dog design is any type of fur, sculpted or real - it's all been replaced by veiny scaly skin, not like any dog I've ever seen/owned/consumed. The paint is very brown and highlighted well, good paint apps, making our drug-induced dog hysteria even more bizarre.

2. Figure has strange, un-dog-like articulation.
In the world of McFarlane, apparently dogs also have gigantic claws and such, and also move in all kinds of places that dogs don't usually move. He has some might fine articulation here if you want to get him to stand on his hind legs, as mentioned before - aided with a ball-jointed midsection and neck, he can get into all kinds of poses, but afterwards I was trying to do the same thing with my dog Alfred in the yard and he fell over, then he bit my hand, so I had to put him down.

He was tasty.

3. Tail is several feet long.
Yes, add it up - if this dog was a real pooch, it's tail would be huge, not to mention terrifying - it's all segmented up like a spinal cord, which makes no sense at all. The tail is even longer than the figure, with a huge spike on the end. It's bendy, which means you can put it in any position you like - you can even wag his tail, like a happy doggy! AwwwW!! Phallus
4. Phallus shoots out of its mouth.
Apparently not only do McFarlane canines have some kind of strange smooth phallic shaped head, but they also have a bizarre phallic tongue (with extra teeth) that lunges out of pup's mouth. Very strange. I'm not sure what to make of this one. The phallus thingy also doesn't shoot out very far, and the button on the back of its head obstructs the smoothness of the head.

Overall, if you like drugs, you're going to love this figure. I'm a cat person, so I don't like dogs much, but I think even dog people would find this pup to be a little strange. It's a cool figure, though, if you like this sort of thing.

* Excessive Consumption May Have a Laxative Effect

Yeah, uh, speaking of 'shrooms... is Shocka brain damaged? Tell us on our message board, The Loafing Lounge.


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