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Masters of the Universe Classics
by Shocka

I have to share a secret - I'm not really a Masters of the Universe fan. I remember enjoying the cartoon-cum-toy-commercial as a child, not noticing the total lack of sense going into Skeletor's moron plans nor the lack of characterization, charisma, plotting, writing, animation and everything else that made the show the hilarious relic it is - but now, in my mid-20's, I don't really care all that much about the property. I am, however, invested in one character, and that character is Skeletor. I've gone over my love of him before so there's not much else to say except to ask has anyone else noticed how much Sarah Palin resembles Skeletor? Both in appearance, intellect, ability to articulate and also plot?

A direct descendant of the legendary King Grayskull, Prince Adam of Eternia was chosen to protect his ancestor's Power Sword from evil. At first he used a techno-vest with a built-in force field to fight evil, but Adam has since learned to combine both halves of the Power Sword, using it to channel the energy of the Elders to become He-Man - the most powerful man in the universe! He guards the safety of all Eternia alongside the heroic Masters of the Universe.

As little a fan of Masters of the Universe I am, I'm even less of a fan of MattyCollector. There's nothing that ticks me off quite like a big company that defecates on the people allowing it to exist, and in the case of Mattel - who has suffered through consistent-bad-handling of its non-Barbie properties and consistently blamed its fans for the lack of success instead of its own sensational idiocy - I feel they are completely disinterested in serving their fans except for when it immediately profits them.

Sure, they'll provide a subscription to ensure fans can buy the overhyped, overpriced, underproduced toys before they sell out, but will do it in such a way that'll force people to buy toys essentially blindboxed. Sure, they'll create figures of fan favourites and requests, but only when a sellout is ensured. (Faker, anyone?) Sure, they'll promise to correct past mistakes, but only when it benefits them - there's all the issues with the bad QC and the server problems and the ongoing fact that the toys cost much more than they should, and it's really sad because it means I have to preface a review of a good toy talking about how $#!++y the vendor is and the problems associated with acquiring that good toy - it shouldn't happen, and we shouldn't have to live with it.

But, because the toys are so awesome, we do. Due to the premium in buying these figures, and also my lack of interest in the property, I've limited my Matty purchases to only essentials, and one of those essentials is indeed He-Man. In one of their kinder-though-obviously-immediately-profitable moves, Mattel rereleased the central character from MOTU with "improvements" (better discussed here by Poe - only having this new version I can't comment) and he's the toy I'm looking at today. A special thanks to the aforementioned Poe for helping me acquire this toy - the lad is a saint and I hope he doesn't take my feelings for MOTU or Matty personally.

Standing around 7" tall, He-Man is a nice update of the bulky square-like build of the original toy, without the contours and details of the 2002 update, but somewhere between the two. His sculpt is nicely beefy, complete with nipples though lacking any of the desired crotches we've come to associate with the many Kens of the Barbie series. I'm quite fond of his blank stare and well-sculpted hair, which goes alongside the neat sculpting of his loincloth and boots. These are all painted surprisingly well, with some slight detail on his muscles and on his clothes with very minor slippage. He is a great looking toy.

He-Man is articulated out the wazoo, like his MOTU Classics kin - balljointed neck, arms and legs, then joints at the feet, knees, hands, shoulders, midsection and torso, all of which move very well and feel very durable on mine, providing plenty of poseability as well as playability. And there's plenty of play to be had: He-Man includes his Power Sword (as well as the half-sword that fits with Skeletor's other half), his shield, an axe, and also a removable vest, getting him one step closer to the nudity you desire, you sicko. These are all painted basically but effectively - on He-Man they look great, a perfect update to the toy that doesn't go as far as the 2002 version, but an excellent nostalgic throwback.

He-Man is a top toy, and I'm looking forward to having him ride Battle Cat in the near future. He's an excellent offering, and one I'm happy that I own, especially with those sculpted nipples. Mesmerizing.

-- 01/25/10

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