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Figuretoon Quickies

"Superman Has Two Daddies"

The release of the new Russell Crowe Jor-El figure made us remember that Mattel put out a Marlon Brando Jor-El in 2006 to go along with Superman Returns. Granted, that figure was only 5½" tall rather than the 6½" of the new one, but photographic trickery will take care of that.

The giant block of text is taken directly from Brando's speech in the original Superman. Crowe's line is taken from his meme-worthy performance in Les Mis. In the immortal words of Stefon, "if you liked Russell Crowe in Les Misérables, you might want to hear Jasper the gorilla pass a kidney stone!"

Vision-Impaired Transcript

Jor-El (Brando): You will travel far, my little Kal-El. But we will never leave you... even in the face of our death. The richness of our lives shall be yours. All that I have, all that I've learned, everything I feel... all this, and more, I... I bequeath you, my son. You will carry me inside you, all the days of your life. You will make my strength your own, and see my life through your eyes, as your life will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father, and the father the son. This is all I... all I can send you, Kal-El.
Jor-El (Crowe): [shout-singing] And I'm Javert!

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