Linda

"Alriiiight!" Linda is Bob's wife, though she nearly wasn't: although he was a good kisser and her parents liked him because he always did the dishes, Linda didn't actually like hanging out with her fiance, Hugo Habercore, so she was out at a bar with her friend Ginger; being her usual loud, boisterous self, she gestured wildly while telling a story and her engagement ring got caught in Bob's mustache; being a fan of Tom Selleck, she was instantly smitten. So she broke it off with Hugo and married Bob (on September 3 - 9/3. Nine is divisible by three). Linda is voiced by John Roberts - not the Supreme Court chief justice, a comedian who made some videos playing a caricature of a typical New York woman (an impression of his mother). The show's creators saw the videos and based the character in their demo reel on her, and when the show was picked up, Roberts was kept in the role. His nasal whine is perfect for Linda, whose outgoing nature helps overshadow how annoying she is. The Bob's Burgers artstyle is not really what you'd call "attractive," but by the world's standards, Linda is apparently quite the stunner - Hugo's still hung up on her years later, Bob's best customer/friend Teddy fantasizes about having a life with her, she's constantly being hit on, and she's pretty cute in the more realistic Archer style. The figure matches the show's artwork very well. Her glasses are molded as part of her face, and her chin is non-existent save for a thin line of paint, just like in the 2D art. She's definitely got the body of a middle-aged mom of three (who may or may not have a drinking problem), and the toy is shaped just like the cartoon art. The aforementioned glasses are the only part that doesn't feel quite right: in a drawing, they can hover away from her face slightly, sticking out when she turns to that three-quarters profile most cartoon characters live in; here, they stick close to her face, so the shape isn't perfect. Honestly, she looks more like "Adult Louise" than "normal Linda." I think she needs a thinner forehead. And a wilder expression. Her articulation is poor. Like we said in the Bob review, these figures only have swivels, and they only have them at the neck, shoulders, waist, and ankles. It's a really weird choice that doesn't allow for any real variety in the posing. She's pretty much forever going to be standing straight up with her arms at her sides. It's even worse because of her accessories. She's one of those modern moms who drink wine like they're counting on Jesus to turn it back into water as it goes down their throats, so she comes with a wine glass and a bottle. The glass is molded from gray plastic and has paint representing wine... but only on the outside, creating the overall impression of a plastic cup with a stripe on it. The bottle is green with a white label, but rather than just have her hold it by the neck like a normal person, the toy has molded it with a handle on the side. WTF! You know what they could have given her? Her apron! Make it a separate piece that slides up to the waist. Like, her normal clothes are fine, but she's seen just as often wearing an apron above them. Her shirt is more salmon than the red it should be, and her neckline should have two small buttons, not a little V cutout. Her pants are lighter than they should be, too. And while her socks stop short of the pantlegs, which is accurate, the little bit of skin we should be able to see there hasn't been painted. Neither has the bit at the neckline. All these corners cut! Bob had a great sculpt and okay paint. Linda's got an okay sculpt and disappointing paint. All the figures have crappy articulation, and the accessories are lackluster. There's a reason I didn't buy this until it was only five bucks. Gene | Linda | Bob | Tina | Louise -- 08/05/20

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