Crossbones

It makes a kind of sense that this guy would spend all his time fighting the man who wears pirate boots everywhere. Crossbones makes it his mission to take out Captain America no matter the loss of life at stake. This is the third time restaurant-grade dickbag Brock Rumlow has gotten a Marvel Legends figure (fourth if you count the movie version). The first one was part of a Walmart-exclusive series, which automatically meant it was hard to find. The second was in an SDCC box set, so that wasn't much better! This one being available at mass retail as part of the Black Widow movie tie-in line marks the first time he's been available for just anybody to buy. At last! Both of the existing Crossbones made his modern costume, with a tactical vest and everything. They also used an old ToyBiz sculpt, which made him almost comically huge. This one still uses a big body, but it's Hasbro's own big body, so he's closer to a human size. He's also wearing his original costume, which was more of a traditional comicbook look: something skin-tight, rather than realistically thick. It's solid black, with white bones on the chest, and add-on pieces to create the pouches around his wrists and his gun belt. The head is new. He's still wearing his stylized skull mask, but this is the first time it's had the dangling ties in the back. They billow out to the side, making him look dynamic. The head should really sit a little lower on the body - not drastically, just a millimeter or two, but as is he looks a bit giraffeish. No guy this big has a neck this visible. On the comic costume, the crossed bones covered his entire torso, starting near the collarbones and ending by his waist. Because the toy has a hinged chest, they had to squash the bones down so they'd fit entirely above the joint. It makes them slightly small, but it's not something you'll really notice unless you're directly comparing him to the art. And despite being painted on black plastic, the white of the bones is surprisingly clean and bright. Not what you'd expect! Crossbones' only power is "uses guns," so he comes with four of them: two dark grey things that look like sawed-off shotguns, and two light silver tech pistols that can fit into his holsters. Was there a reason he couldn't come with realistic weapons? Other than the general fact that he tends to be employed by guys like AIM or Hydra, of course. He's also got a piece of the Crimson Dynamo Build-A-Figure. The right arm. It may have taken years, but we finally have a Crossbones who's not a nightmare to get. There are some small flaws with him - the neck, the size of his emblem, the choice of weapons - but none that ruin the figure. -- 08/31/20

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