Blade

What one-line fanservice meme was more cringe: Norman Osborn in No Way Home saying he's something of a scientist himself, or Blade in Deadpool 3 bringing back the ice skating uphill thing? As a formidable founding member of The Resistance, the vampire hunter Blade is thrust back into action after decades hidden away. His goal? Getting the ending he deserves. I admit, in the scene where the Resistance introduce themselves to Wade and Logan, I completely missed one of the jokes until it was pointed out to me. Deadpool, as usual, starts mouthing off about stupid things, and Blade points a machete at him and growls "I don't like you," to which Deadpool responds "you never did." I had forgotten (until that moment) that Ryan Reynolds played Hannibal King in Blade: Trinity, the final movie in the series, but more importantly, that Wesley Snipes hated working with him. Maybe not to Tommy Lee Jones/Jim Carrey "I cannot sanction your buffoonery" levels, but Snipes definitely did not appreciate what Reynolds was bringing to the shoot. There may be another Blade: Trinity joke being made by this toy specifically. We've all heard Patton Oswalt's stories about how Wesley was acting on-set, refusing to answer to anything other than "Blade," not leaving his trailer for days on end, only communicating via post-it notes, etc. And because he didn't want to do anything the director asked of him, we're all familiar with the scene where he even refused to open his eyes, forcing the crew to replace his eyes with CGI. We bring that up here because this figure includes two heads, one stoic and one showing its teeth, and they both have the weirdest paint for the eyes. They've got strong outlines, like he's supposed to have Nestor Carbonell eyelashes or something. We're giving Hasbro the benefit of the doubt that the eyes are painted like this because they're supposed to look like bad 2004 CGI... especially since at no point in Deadpool & Wolverine does Blade ever take his glasses off! Before the 1998 movie, Blade never wore bodyarmor. His most recent costume before that was just a leather jacket, because Ghost Rider was one of the biggest successes around, but since then it's become a standard part of his kit. No surprise, then, that this movie verison is still wearing it. A new version, of course, with a different design, and even some plates of it on the forearms this time, a new development! The shirt gets more of a texture than the armor, a costume choice that's more like modern superhero movie costumes than ones from back then. Way to fit in with the new universe, Blade! Even the color is a bit more "superhero-y" than before. He always wore black, though the movie lighting would at least make it look grey so it wasn't overwhelming, but this version adds some flashes of red to go along with the silver buckles. Wesley Snipes was in his 60s when shooting the movie, and nobody wants to compete with "I've been working out for the past decade non-stop, look at how vascular I am" Hugh Jackman, so this is the first time Blade's worn sleeves, which means the black of the costume doesn't get broken up by any skin. Considering he's half-vampire, you'd expect he wouldn't have aged much, but there's a white streak in his hair and his pointy chin-beard is white, as well. The first Movie Blade action figure was famous for its incredible articulation; this one isn't quite as huge a leap forward, but it does offer a little bit new. He has all the usual Marvel Legends joints (including the ability to turn his feet to the side, something they hate doing these days!), but instead of regular pectoral hinges, his arms are balljoints with a ring around them, the way McFarlane Toys does it. Also Triton. The figure has either a fist or a gripping hand for the right arm, and a trigger hand or flat palm for the left arm. His weapons are a gun and a blade - not the sword he used to have, but some kind of pseudo-kuhkri thing. The gun is a modifed Brügger & Thomet MP9, and can plug onto a tab on the figure's left leg when not in use, while the machete can slip into a sheath on his back. The set also includes sunglasses to cover up his freaky eyes. Like, two actual pairs, with identical sculpts. It's already weird enough that the heads are sculpted without the glasses on, but why do we get two pairs? Does Hasbro think we're going to be using both heads at once? The returning heroes were all a big surprise, and it was great getting to see them one more time, Blade especially: he was the one who really started the superhero ball rolling again after 1997's one-two punch of Batman & Robin and Spawn made it seem like no one would want anything of the sort ever again. We've said before that we wish a modern company could go back and make toys of properties that never got what they deserved, and while this isn't that, it's probably as close as we're likely to get. -- 04/27/26 What's with those eyes? Tell us on our message board, the Loafing Lounge.