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Slushy Soldier

by yo go re

Who's ready for some more Giftsmas delays?

Make every day a snow day.

God, I wish! This year is legitimately the first time since high school I've had a snow day, and let me tell you, reader, it was great. Grownups should get vacations just like kids do. Anyway, remember back when Walmart had Crackshot as a seasonal exclusive in 2019? Slushy Soldier was supposed to be the 2020 installment in the series, but (like the Santa Gremlin) everything in the world being shut down for a few months meant the toy was delayed, and what was supposed to be a holiday exclusive didn't ship until well after Giftsmas. On the plus side, he seems to be a lot more plentiful than Crackshot was: I think I've seen at least one or two at every Walmart I've gone to (though only after I worried about not being able to find one in person and ordered him from their website).

The Slushy Soldier isn't as festive as Crackshot, though he's certainly wintery. His head is a big sphere, a perfectly ball-shaped snowman wearing a tiny black top hat. He has large black eyes, a carrot nose, and a broad smile with four teeth poking down from it: three black, and one gold. It's honestly a bit adorable, with the smile making him look friendly. Or pleased to be murdering you. Either way he's a big dope. But why the one golden tooth? What's that meant to represent?

They couldn't give him a traditional three-section snowman body, because that wouldn't work in the game's mechanics - can't run around an island if you don't have any legs, yeah? So he's got the normal human body, but is wearing a festive sweater. It's baby blue with a red stripe around the middle and a big snowflake tampographed right on the stomach. It also sets the colors for the rest of his clothes, because his pants are blue, his boots are red, annd his armor is white. The sweater should have white dots all over it, to represent snow, but that app got skipped (and if you look at the official renders, that's not the only one).

Jazwares' Fortnite figures move well. Really well! Slushy Soldier has a balljointed head, hinged neck (though that's rendered mostly inoperable by the collar of his sweater), pectoral hinges, swivel/hinge shoulders, swivel biceps, double-hinged elbows, swivel/hinge wrists, hinged fingers, a balljointed chest, swivel waist, swivel/hinge hips, swivel thighs, double-hinged knees, swivel shins, swivel/hinge ankles, and hinged toes. The pec joints don't move very far - he's not trying to flap his arms to fly, he's just trying to hold his weapons normally.

Like a lot of Fortnite characters, Slushy Soldier has a few weapons as part of his design that aren't actually accessories, such as the carrot-knife on his right thigh, the snowman-head grenades on his left hip, or the bandolier of carrot bullets that runs across his chest. His real accessories include the Combat Wreath, a ring of greenery with a red bow, two grenades, and a machete all molded as part of it; the translucent blue Icicle harvesting tool; a Harpoon Gun, for reeling in either fish or your enemies; a Sniper Rifle, which seems weirdly undersized; a Tactical Submachine Gun, which is currently unavailable in the game; and the Heavy Shotgun, which is does more damage to structures than to players. He's also got a Shield Potion.

The Slushy Soldier is another fun Giftsmasy exclusive in the Fortnite line, even if he didn't make it out in time for his intended Giftsmas. WIth the news that the license will be moving to Hasbro at the start of 2022, who knows if there will be a third exclusive this fall? If there is, you'd better preorder, just to be safe.

-- 03/19/21

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