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Crime Boss Destro

GIJoe Sigma 6
by yo go re

When Destro first appeared in the Sigma 6 line, he was wearing a uniform in "Cobra blue" rather than his traditional black. Still, it was very obviously a classic "Destro" look. But for the fans who didn't like his big cloth jacket, a picture in the back of the monthly Previews catalog promised something different - a civilian Destro. Though the text was about a re-release of a previous series, the evidence was there; it just took until the very end of the line for the figure to appear.

Destro is a man of many criminal talents. Sigma 6 Crime Boss Destro One of them is bank robbery, which is one of his favorite methods for increasing his money supply. During one recent heist, he used sleeping gas to knock out everyone in the bank. Then he disabled the electronic security system on the bank vault with a custom-designed, electronic-zapping bolo. He walked out with $1.3 million in gold and $4.5 million in untraceable cash. This gave him enough to fund more research into advanced weaponry for the Cobra organization.

It's impressive how that bio immediately explains all Destro's accessories. Not the most seamless thing, but better than a list of gear printed on the pacakge somewhere, right? At least this took some work. How many Iron Men did we get who had the same text printed on the backs of their cards? This little story is obviously specific to this figure, and we can respect that.

"Crime Boss" Destro (as the civilian figure came to be called) is much more casual than his earlier counterpart. S&M Destro Gone is the blue suit, replaced by a black turtleneck and maroon pants. He's wearing matching gloves, and his pants have big kneepads. His sweater must be sleeveless, because his arms are silvery. In the package he's wearing a gasmask and a weapons harness, but they're removable. Honestly, if you didn't know this was a straight repaint of the last figure, you'd never guess it, and that's good design.

Destro's head is still vac-metallized, which is always annoying, DAMN YOU, CHROME! but it's not as bad as the previous release - while that one was chromed all over, Crime Bosss Destro just has a shiny strip over his face - the rest is metallic, but just painted. Surprisingly, Destro's armor isn't all one color: while the bulk of his arms are bluish-silver, the pads on the sides of his shoulders, and the area around his wrists and up his forearms are slightly more yellow; the non-metal portions of his head are this second color, as well.

Most of the Sigma 6 figures move at the same joints, can you believe one hand is the total difference between these two molds? and they work much better at this size than they do on Hasbro's Marvel Legends. Making everything into a balljoint isn't a terrible idea, it just looks more appropriate on a sylized figure like this. Crime Boss Destro also has the new Kung-Fu Grip, a spring-loaded hinge in his right hand. His pants are cloth, and even with the stitched seams down the front and the huge beltloops at the waist, sculpted details would still be preferable. What's with Sigma 6 and the real clothes?

Destro's accessories include guns all the things referred to in the bio paragraph: a handgun, an uzi, two grenades and the "electronic-zapping bolo," which is a glorified rifle that launches a plastic missile. It doesn't actually zap electronics, though: I fired it at my computer, and the cd drive opened, but that's all. The detailing on the guns and ammo is all very nice, and there are six attachment ports on Destro's harness. Still, the best accessory is yet to come.

Proving that he's just robbed a bank, Crime Boss Destro is toting around a safe deposit box, number 227-83 (or possibly 1001). filthy lucre The box has a slide-back cover and a blatant handle, and an inexplicable gash on the cover - was Destro trying to cut it open? Did he use it to deflect a security guard's attack? Anyway, since an empty safe deposit box isn't worth stealing, this one has some goodies: namely, four gold bars and four stacks of $100 bills. All eight items can fit in the box at once, and small tabs on the inside keep it from slipping open when the figure is holding it. This is a really cool little accessory - if you've been considering getting this Destro, but aren't sure, consider the safe deposit box (and the money it contains) to be the final nudge you need. He's worth it.

It's nice that we finally got our "civilian" Destro, even if it was at the tail-end of the Sigma 6 line. However, the fact that he got two nice figures during the line's lifespan only underscores the fact that Hasbro never had the god sense to give us any female figures. What good is Destro if the Baroness isn't around to polish his helmet? Sorry, "mask." Whatever. Even the live-action GIJoe movie recognizes the need for the Baroness, so how is it the toys that started the whole deal couldn't figure it out? Crime Boss Destro is a worthwhile figure, but he'd be a definite must-have if there was a Baroness to join him in his plotting.


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