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Robb Stark

Game of Thrones
by yo go re

We previously advised that those who aren't good at playing the game of thrones should not try. As a corollary to that, let us add "don't think with your dick."

After Ned Stark got Sean Beaned, it was his eldest son Robb who became the new King in the North and Lord of Winterfell. Surprisingly, he turned out to be pretty good at it. Rather than choose sides between Renly and Stannis (the younger brothers of dead king Robert Baratheon), he struck out on his own and declared war on the Lannisters. And despite having a much smaller army, he kept winning battle after battle, because he was an excellent tactician. And yet it all went to hell because he was thinking with his dick.

Look, love is great. If it's something you have the luxury of. But you don't make deals with weird old psychos and then say "oh, I'm sure he'll understand" when you renege. If he seems to understand and forgive you? He doesn't. He's still a weird old psycho and under no circumstances should you trust him. Especially if your entire claim to fame is that you're a brilliant tactician!

Robb "the extra B is for extra boneheaded" Stark was played by Richard Madden, an actor you don't recognize from any other thing any other time. The likeness is mostly good (the center of the brow is a bit too big), but like a lot of the Game of Thrones Legacy Collection figures, the paint gets in the way. He's like Jon Snow, where the beard is painted oddly.

Fittingly, Robb wears the same kind of clothes as his father. His gambeson has the same diamond pattern of rectangular plates, and wears his belt wrapped around the same way. This isn't a reused sculpt, however: Robb's gone all martial, wearing an armored breastplate, pauldrons, rebraces, couters, and vambraces above them. He's got the kind of cape Ned should have been wearing, but don't think you can just swap it over between the figures, because it's not really removable - it's glued to his shoulder armor, which is in turn glued to his shoulders. You could probably pry it off if you were determined to, however.

None of Robb's articulation broke or was stuck, and it's hard to remember how long it's been since we could say that about a figure we were reviewing. He has a balljointed head, swivel/hinge shoulders, elbows, and wrists, a balljointed torso, balljointed hips, swivel thighs, double-hinged knees, and swivel/hinge ankles. You'll want to be careful posing him, because not only does the (mostly) inflexible cape keep his legs from moving too far back, it also makes the toy quite back-heavy, prompting him to pitch over backwards at the slightest provocation.

Snoop Robby Robb comes with a sword, but it's not without its problems. Getting it in and out of his hands is easy, and it's even easier to use the scabbard. However, it's been completely bent out of shape by its time in the tray - there's a massive bend halfway up the blade. Hopefully this is a unique problem, and not one you'll have to deal with. My solution was to put it back in the tray the other way, and let the thing that caused the problem in the first place do the work of correcting it.

So. Robb Stark. He's incredibly smart, incredibly stupid, intensely honorable, and yet willing to break even his most important vow. And while he's not the most exciting figure in Series 2, he's professionally done, and will allow you to stage your own alternate reality stories. Three-dimensional fanfic!

-- 02/01/15


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