Having spent two games making the ultimate update of Doom as a pure concept, it's time for id Software to update Quake.
With the Slayer imprisoned at the dawn of Dark Ages, the balance between light and shadow teeter on the edge of oblivion. A feared outsider among an imperiled people, he is both weapon and prisoner, his
strength bound by the very gods they serve. As an ancient evil lays siege to their world, time runs short, and darkness deepens.
The original Doom 3 was the oddity in its trilogy (it's the one that made you hold a flashlight and turned Pinkies into those weird little wheeled things that would probably be forgotten if not for appearing in the Doom movie), so it shouldn't be too surprising that the third game in this new trilogy is also a major departure from its two forebears. And we don't just mean the new setting and trappings: Doom 2016 was brutal and excessive, a pure power fantasy; Eternal was about speedy acrobatics, like playing a perfect Neon White or Mullet MadJack or Superhot run in real time; and now Dark Ages has the motto "stand and fight," meaning you're expected to slow way down and clomp-clomp-clomp your way through the levels. And that's even before they put you in a Jaeger!
Doom: The Dark Ages is technically an interquel, explaining how Doomguy got from the end of Doom 64 to the beginning of Doom 2016.
Er, note: one of those is a system memory designation and the other is a year, this single game doesn't count as 1,952 entries in the series. It doesn't actually show what happened immediately after killing the Mother Demon nor does it end with him getting put into that sarcophagus (gotta leave room for DLC or sequels, in case this game is successful enough), but, as the story of how the Doom Guy became the Doom Slayer, it does recognize the question of what he was doing all that time. And the answer is "pseudo medieval/fantasy shenanigans."
Doomguy's armor is even more detailed than the existing figures'. It's not that they paid more attention to the sculpt,
but simply that there's more to sculpt. Like, the basic shapes are the same - big clunky boots, green chestplate, pauldrons, etc. - but he's got spikes, he's got chainmail, he's got all the trappings that make this a more medieval feeling suit of Doom armor than the existing sci-fi. There's a real metal chain hanging on the side of his belt, and a big fur cape hangs off his shoulders. Not a sculpted cape, actual softgood fur. The Dark Ages Doomguy is a technobarbarian straight from the mural on the side of somebody's 1970s van.
The Dark Ages Slayer is the first in McFarlane Toys' new "Elite Edition" line, which is basically just an excuse to charge more
for the same product (cf. Marvel Legends Max). There's some thing where you can redeem a code from a card to earn "Elite Points" that will be used for... something? Maybe? For our purpose, the only thing that matters is that McToys has used the increased pricepoint to improve the paint. Top to bottom, front and back, every tiny little clasp and latch and spike has been given the paint app it's supposed to have. It looks great, it's just annoying that "doing what you're meant to do" is now considered a "premium" offering.
And it really is just the paint that's improved. If you've played with any of McFarlane's previous Doom figures, you already know all the articulation this one is going to have: swivel/hinge ankles,
swivel/hinge knees, swivel thighs, swivel/hinge hips, balljoints for the waist and chest, swivel/hinge wrists, swivel/hinge elbows, swivel/hinge shoulders, and a barbell head. I can't, for the life of me, get the waist to actually move freely, so it's stuck permanently twisted just a bit to the side. And having swivel biceps and hinged elbows was a better choice on the old figures than combining them into one here. Even the gun mounted on his shoulder has gotten a downgrade, now just having a balljoint where the weapon meets the support arm holding it up, instead of allowing you to hinge it down and fold it away.
We do get some decent weapons, at least. There's a shotgun, of course, because Doom's shotgun is iconic on the level
of Pac-Man's power pellets or Mario's mushroom. Then there's one of the game's new melee weapons (remember, "stand and fight"), a morningstar with a real metal chain. Plus, the Pulverizer, a new gun from the game that may be the Doom-iest gun to ever Doom: The Pulverizer, a gun that uses demon skulls as ammo, feeding them through a grinder and spitting the shards at your enemies.
Finally, there's his shield. Giving Doomguy a shield may feel antithetical to the Doom ethos, but it's really the Dark Ages replacement for the chainsaw, thanks to the blades around the edges,
and it also adds mobility in the form of the Shield Rush, where you lock onto an enemy and slam into them. Coupled with the explosive AOE damage it does upon landing, and if you pick a low-level enemy and you're basically tele-fragging - fitting, since Doom is where that came from in the first place. Dark Ages' shield isn't a defensive weapon, it's a reactive weapon, and that's why it works. The front of the shield has the Mark of the Doom Slayer printed on it in red, but the rear is pure, unpainted greem plastic. Guess they're counting on you never looking at that side. Doomguy has two hands open to hold weapons, one wide open to cradle the Pulverizer, and one closed fist.
There are two ways of looking at the timeline of the Doom games: as a single timeline, or multiple realities. Among fans who try to fit them all together, the head canon is that 2004's Doom 3 was a prequel to the '90s games: that whole thing with Dr. Betruger was William Joseph Blazkowicz III's first day on Mars, and when it was over, he went on to become the ripping and tearing guy we know today. If that's the case, then it's funy that both trilogies put their third game before the first two, no matter how mechanically disjointed that may make the gameplay. You may have to look to other manufacturers to get any enemies to fight, but McFarlane Toys' Doom Slayers have all been pretty good (if not easy to get), so it's exciting that they've made the Dark Ages version of him, too. But $50 feels like a rip-off, no matter how nicely they paint the back of his armor; hopefully there will be a "standard" release that's in more fans' acceptible price range.
-- 08/27/25
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