Stimpson J. Cat

Stimpson J. Cat is large, stupid, and... well, that's about all. He's big and dumb. If Ren and Stimpy are the Odd Couple, then he's Oscar, which I guess means that later in life he'll be Quincy, M.E. Stimpy looks just like his cartoon counterpart: a big combination head/body with stout little limbs poking out. Aww! The sculpt is deceptively simple: sure, he looks plain, but it's hard to capture just the right level of cartoony curve. They even thought to include his spinal ridge and give him a little set of buns. He's got those classic-cartoon style gloves, the ones with the three fingers and the lines on the back of the hand. What's with that, anyway? I really like the paint job. Stimpy's just the perfect rusty shade of red, and his nose is a bright blue. The area around his mouth is a light cream color, but it didn't fall prey to sloppy paint apps the way Ren's teeth did. Stimpy's mouth is open wide in a huge, gaping smile, and his mouth extends far down into his belly - it's almost big enough for him to swallow Ren. His big square teeth contrast nicely against the pink interior, and the wrinkles around his maw look great. Articulation isn't this line's strong point, and Stimpy moves only at the hips, shoulders and wrists. His big flat feet provide a stable base, even if he doesn't have a whole lot of posing options. The shoulders are balljoints, at least, so that's nice. To geologist, palisades might just mean a series of river-bounding cliffs, but to toy fans, Palisades means accessories aplenty. With this set, you get the secret club helmet, a big weird TV mask thing that fits on his face. The screen is all sparkly and displays a black spiral. The mask really is molded to fit perfectly on Stimpy - there are indentations inside for his eyes, and little raised areas that fit inside his ears. It can be a bit tough to get on, but not impossible. Be careful putting it on, though: the blue paint can transfer to Stimpy's face very easily. Additionally, you can turn Stimpy into his brainy alter-ego, Dr. Stupid, using a pair of glasses and a mortarboard. The hat is magnetic, with a little hole in the center so that Stimpy's hair can fit inside. Doesn't he just inspire confidence in his proclaimations? Stimpy's got his litter box, as any good cat would need. His is more portable than most, since it's got little wheels on the bottom and a handle on one end; really, it just looks like he filled a wagon with Gritty Kitty. The wheels on the accessory are just for decoration: they don't move. There's a big butt-print in the sand, so you know that the box has been used. Stimpy's legs pull out at the hips, so you can plop him waist-deep in the litter box. Careful not to pull the legs out by the feet - you don't want the ankles to snap. Finally, because series creator John K. had some kind of weird fascination with shaving, Stimpy's got a dollop of shaving scum that fits on his left index finger. Included with each figure in this series is an individually blister packed Log. Yes, Log; all kids love Log! The fact that Log's not in a clamshell is already a huge plus in its favor. Clamshells = stupid. Stimpy's got Log for Girls, a pedestal-mounted fashion Log with long blonde hair and makeup. The texture of the bark is great, as are the individual pieces on the string of pearls around her neck. And ya just gotta love that tacky, caked-on facepaint. It's like looking at a middle school girl or a televangelist's wife. Stimpy's a much better figure than his friend Ren, but you really can't have one without the other. He looks great sitting in his litter box or dragging it behind him, and if you get tired of that, you can always play Ask Dr. Stupid. What's your favorite Ren & Stimpy episode? Tell us on our message board, the Loafing Lounge.

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