|
||||
|
B u y t h e t o y s , n o t t h e h y p e .
|
|
||
|
|
|
|
||
|
|
              
 |
Series 4SLUG Zombiesby yo go re
|
|
|
|
|
|
||
|
Need help? Mail Us! |
||||
|
|
||||
|
|
B u y t h e t o y s , n o t t h e h y p e .
|
|
||
|
|
|
|
||
|
|
|
Series 4SLUG Zombiesby yo go re
|
|
|
|
|
|
||
|
Need help? Mail Us! |
||||
Gabe a legitimate 1950s greaser zombie, or is he just one of those guys who's way too into rockabilly music? Either way, he's got the look down: Chuck Taylors, jeans with the cuff rolled up, a wallet chain, a plain T-shirt, and a leather jacket. He's running a comb through his hair, which, since he's a decaying corpse reanimated by unholy means, is only succeeding in pulling his scalp back, revealing his brains beneath. His right sleeve is torn away, as is a patch of skin on that forearm, and you can see the bones of his elbow through a hole in his left sleeve. A gaping wound peeks out from beneath his jacket, showing some ribs and guts. The right leg of his pants has been torn off, and his toes are exposed on that side, too.
a work shirt with straps over the chest, everything. It's Ash. Okay, he's got a reciprocating saw instead of a chainsaw, but is that really enough to confuse you about who he's supposed to be? It's like giving 
to 
a checkered dress with a big bow tied around the waist, and shoes that I want to call Mary Janes, but a cursory Google search tells me that's wrong. Her hair is pulled into pigtails. There's a giant bite taken out of her right arm. If not for the wounds on her face, she'd look stoned rather than dead. And is that her tongue hanging out of her mouth, or a piece of flesh she tore off a victim? Her teddy bear looks just as decimated as she does: its arm is ripping off, one button eye is popping out, and there are tufts of stuffing poking out through its stitches.
in a good way. Honestly, "English Dead Guard"? That's all they could come up with? Admiral Gorrington. Gore-atio Nelson. Obviously I'm hitting the "gore" pun pretty hard, but I'm working with what I have. It seems that the name is supposed to be a play on "Red Guard," but they were called red coats, not red guards. Plus, if he's navy, the fancy uniform he's wearing would be blue, not red. The sculpt is intricate, and though the outfit has become bedraggled, his only obvious injury is the giant cannonball hole through his chest! This is a fun figure with a decent biography, he just needs a better name.
but come on: the Brain-Eatin' Barbarian is zombie Conan. He has furry boots and underwear, like He-Man, and has a scabbard strapped to his back. His sword desperately needs to be sharpened - there are dings and chips all along the edges. Given that he's a barbarian, it's hard to tell which of these wounds zombified him, and which are just the result of normal battle. The spot on his left forearm that seems to just be bare bones probably wouldn't have been survivable for a human, though. Setting him apart from Conan, he's got a big bushy beard.
pants allows us to gaze mindfully upon his shinbone. The right sleeve of his shirt has been torn away - the left is still complete, which is how we know he's wearing long sleeves. He has a goatee and glasses. Glasses? Isn't pot supposed to cure glaucoma? Judging by the scrapes on his guitar, he was using it as a weapon for a while before he got turned, really putting the "bong" in "El Kabong" - unfortunately, the neck broke at some point, so no more playing for him. For some reason, there's a snake hanging around his neck. Is that supposed to be a voodoo thing? Does Jakks know voodoo and rastafari aren't the same thing? Pfft. White people, amirite.
zombie crème glacéeur, may not be based on a real person, but he still has a lot of personality. Look at the way there are a bunch of small wounds all over his arms. You know why that is? Because he was in his truck - the rest of his body was protected, but his arms were sticking out the window! Detail! His uniform has gotten more ruined over time, but those are the only injuries. Maybe Deranged Denise bit him! He has a change dispenser on his belt, and a dorky paper hat. For a really cool feature, look at his ice cream cone: it's actually a coil of intestine with an eyeball on top! That's great!
cut up and put into three wooden shipping crates. One of them is labelled "HK" - is that the sculptor's signature, or is the box going to Hong Kong? The boxes are stacked three high and twisted slightly off-center. They're pretty beat to hell, and a different bodypart is poking out of each: the right hand has broken out of the top box, ready to grasp anyone who comes by; the head (and a few fingers) have come out through the side of the middle box, like Dennis is trying to pull himself free; and the bottom box has been kicked open by the right foot. To add a little more visual interest, a rat is perched on the corner of the box. Run, rat! Run or the zombie will get you!
supposed to be Davy Crockett or one of those cosplaying dimwits who took all the good ideas and promise of the Tea Party and turned it into a punchline. Per his name, he's dressed all in buckskin, with fringe on his arms, around his shoulders, and at the bottom of the coat. He's armed with a long rifle, and is posed like he's charging forward with it. Shouldn't he have a bayonet for that? His coonskin cap is an actual raccoon, which is what the bio was getting at. But the real Davy Crockett never wore one - Disney made it up.
others. Cars? Candy? Overtime? WTF is this thing trying to say?! Decomposing Dan is an artist. An artist who happens to look like Bill Nye the Science Guy in the facial area. He's wearing a smock and a cravat, the knees are torn out of his pants, and he only has one shoe. Honestly, this could all be normal artist wear, not anything specifically zombified. The splotches on his palette are probably blood - his paintings are going to be redder than Carpaccio! Rather than simply holding a paint brush, he's holding a severed arm that's holding a paint brush.
and now the rollershating waitress Moldy Moxie, it really seems like the theme of SLUG Series 4 was "hey, the 1950s; 'member that?" It's a cute figure, with her waitress uniform, rollerskates, and catseye lenses. This is the internet - that's going to be pushing somebody's buttons! She's wearing an apron with an order pad tucked in the pocket, and is carrying a tray loaded with a milkshake and an entire human brain on a bun. Silly girl, that brain won't fit on that bun! Her parted hair is topped with a little pillbox hat.
worse than a Parrot Head: a zombie Parrot Head! He's wearing a Hawaiian shirt, cargo shorts, and flip-flops. His calves seem to have both been bitten into - shoulda worn something more protective, you sunburned Northern Florida d-bag! I'm surprised no one's pulled out his earring. Gangrene Gene is wearing a lei, which might be made out of flowers, or might be made out of vertebrae; it's hard to tell. He's carrying a skull with a straw and a tiny umbrella sticking out of it. His right arm is missing below the elbow - I wonder where it may have gone?
Resident Evil monster inside. She's definitely decaying, as evidenced by the visible ribs on both sides and the mangy spots on her legs and back. Her tail is inexplicably balding in such a way that she's getting pseudo-poodle puffs. She's wearing a scarf around her neck, so she must have gone to the groomer shortly before getting zombified. She's got Gene's missing right hand in her mouth - so, is she fetching it for him, or did she grab it and run off?
Yes, "Johnson." Why is she Johnson? I mean, twin guns, ponytail, little backpack, tight T-shirt, booty shorts, combat boots, straps all over everything... there is nothing about this figure that is not Lara Croft, so why the name Johnson? And why is she saying it like James Bond? We can honestly think of not a single reason for it, so if you've got an idea, let us know. She's posed with her guns drawn and held up beside her - pointing them both forward would be most iconic, but harder to get out of a mold in one piece. This is a pretty boring figure: the videogame reference is the only interesting thing about it.
