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Villains of the Night

Spider-Man Legends
by yo go re

Who's ready to be confused!

These nightmarish villains torment the innocent and fight to take down Spider-Man.

What? I know this bio has to refer to two characters (well, it doesn't really have to, Hasbro just insists on doing it that way for reasons to which we are not privy), but how long has it been since Morbius was a "villain" even in passing? It would be like if a figure of Hawkeye referred to him as a villain. Also, Morbius was never interested in tormenting the innocent, just in curing his own freaky blood disease. Basically, this is all a big example of why Hasbro should just stop with the "swap figures" entirely. Just call this one Morbius and the other one Jack O'Lantern and be done with it.

It's been nearly a decade since we had a Morbius action figure, and that one was hampered by its "Fang Attack" action feature - some people have reported the rubber of his face melting right off the head. This one gets a solid head, though it's still sculpted with an impressive open mouth, showing him ready to bite someone.

Though it had a bad face, the old toy did have a nicely sculpted body. It was by Phil Ramirez, and it looked at least partially corpse-like, suiting the character. This one uses a version of the small body, with a new upper torso that has a notch molded in it where his big disco collar plugs in - where was that when they were doing Iron Fist, amirite? This is a very classic Morbius, as opposed to the '90s version we got before. To complete his monstrous look, he has Black Panther hands, with the claws bared.

The tall collar gets in the way of the articulation a little - it means he can only look down, not up. One of his pseudo-vampiric abilities is flight (or at least transvection: he can glide on air currents), and how's he supposed to do that if he can't see where he's going? We do get our choice of capes, though: one hanging straight down, for at-rest poses, and one spread out like wings behind him.

Morbius comes with the arms of the Series 3 Build-A-Figure, Absorbing Man. "Hold on, I thought there were already arms," you say, somehow projecting your thoughts directly into the computer and turning them into text. Well, you're right, there were already arms. Absorbing Man apparently has four arms.

Morbius reminds me a lot of Carnage: ToyBiz made a better body, but Hasbro made a better head, and unfortunately there's no way to combine the two. But at least on this Morbius, his face is all but guaranteed to be in place on the front of his head for years to come.

-- 01/25/16

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