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Transformers ROTF
by yo go re

Remember the scene in the first Transformers where Sam drops the AllSpark cube and things come to life? We're still waiting for a real toy of Dispensor, the soda machine robot, and yet we've already got a toy of one of the similar bots from the second movie.

Born mindless and driven by the heat pulsing in his tiny body, Ejector knows nothing but how to burn. Even when he was a simple toaster burning things was what he did best. Now that he's got a simple mind of his own, and flame-throwers to go with it, he lives to torch everything around him.

Just for the record, no matter how hot a toaster gets, it doesn't use fire to perform its function, so the idea that he somehow has flamethrowers is a bit silly. Of course, a Nokia cellphone doesn't have rocket launchers or a chain gun, but the one in the first movie did, and at least the gap between electrified nichrome wire and a flamethrower is smaller than the one between a minigun and, what, texting capabilities?

Ejector is unabashedly designed to look like the devil. Seriously, it's robot Satan. Move aside, Unicron, there's a new cybernetic Lucifer in town! He has goat legs, horns, and even a forked tail. Now, popular depictions of the devil don't have four arms, like Ejector does, but it's not outside the realm of possibility, is it? He's the devil! He can do what he wants! In keeping with Ejector's toasty origins, his robot mode is detailed with orange heating elements. The tail, for some reason, is one of those ungodly industrial plugs. Seriously, most toasters aren't even grounded (they have two-prong plugs, not three), but the Witwickys have a toaster that needs a specialized socket like you'd have for a refrigerator or an air conditioner? Unlikely.

The character's face is so large, takes up so much of his body, that it's actually done in two pieces: the lower jaw is built into the torso, while the upper jaw and face are mounted on the shoulders. That helps make him more alien, which is always good. He's got the afore-mentioned devil horns, and his wild red eyes are oddly shaped and different sizes. Remember, symmetry is beauty and ugly is evil.

Turning Ejector into a toaster is pretty easy - after all, he's a Scout Class figure, so you can't be expecting too much complexity. On the plus side, he's not one of those TFs you can fully predict just by looking at him, and that's worth something. The toaster is 2½" long, 1¼" wide and just under 1¾" tall. The plug is connected to the toaster via a white cord, which is flexible, but still manages to hold a slight bend if you pose it just right.

In this mode, the reason for the unusual plug becomes apparent: Ejector's altmode is a Dualit toaster, a British brand that was big in the '90s. It's an industrial eyesore, with an art deco design that makes it look more like a microphone than a kitchen appliance. Why would a Californian housewife have a British toaster? She wouldn't. [Maybe she's just trendy? --ed.] But any case, that's what it is, and that's why the plug is so unusual.

Ejector appears in the movie, but that's not where he started. This character actually showed up two years ago during the promotion for the first film. Perhaps you remember a Mountain Dew ad where one guy in an apartment was taunted by his malevolent toaster, which was always stealing his Dew? He insisted he hadn't drunk the last soda, and his roommates never believed him, since the toaster would only transform when no one else was looking. That toaster-bot was the same design as the one used in Revenge of the Fallen, and thus is the same one used for this toy. Is this the first toy based on a promotional tie-in commercial? It may be. Even if it's not, though, Ejector is a fun little figure, and hopefully they'll make more of the "Appliance bots."

-- 08/11/09

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