Be gay, do crimes!
Miranda Kelly is as ruthless as she is beautiful. Growing up on the tough streets of Limerick and Dublin, along with her brother Shay,
the siblings became members of Ireland's most notorious mob, run by Mickey Coonan. The pair's loyalty to each other was unmatched and their reputations spread fear. No one would ever have thought that their allegiance to their boss could be tested, until desire entered the mix. Pandora and Coonan's wife fell for each other and spawned into a secret affair that would leave mental and physical scars. After a vicious attack, Coonan left Pandora with a Glasgow smile carved into her face and exiled her and Shay from Ireland forever.
With the former United States in turmoil, Pandora thought fleeing to America was the best opportunity to start over. Fearing Coonan's ties to mobs throughout the northeast, Pandora and Shay laid low in Atlantic City, NJ, and started to regroup. They quickly rose to power, creating a name for themselves in southern Jersey and Philly. Their newfound fame drew the attention of someone who would help them become an integral piece of the civil war ahead.
Okay, 1, Atlantic City is in the northeast, if they wanted to avoid Irish mobsters they needed to go to, like, Phoenix or Atlanta or something. And 2, we've learned a lot more about Action Force (as a brand) since reviewing Sgt. Slaughter. For instance, Bobby Vala apparently
started Action Force before GI Joe Classified was announced, because his leaving Hasbro was not entirely his choice (thanks, Chris). There's an official story for the property, set (seemingly in the same world as the '80s GI Joe, if you pay attention to the hints) a few years in the future, when the American government has collapsed and the states have all become independent republics. A bunch of them joined to form New Colonia, with the goal of taking over all the others. Resistances formed, and a team was assembled to protect the civilians: Action Force.
Actually, there are three factions in the story: The Garrison, New Colonia's "soldiers are superior to civilians and deserve to be in charge"
villains; The Swarm, a technologically advanced paramilitary force-for-hire that could stand against the Garrison... for a price; and the Action Force, a top secret strike team trying to restore freedom to the people. (There are also now the Crimson Shadows starting to lurk around at the edges of things, because apparently Valaverse wasn't able to grab the "Red Shadows" name like it did "Action Force" or "Steel Brigade.") But of all the toys released so far, Pandora is the only one who doesn't belong to any faction at all. Her bio hints at something secret, and there are no faction symbols anywhere on her packaging. This is apparently a reissue, so there is one printed on her vest, but it doesn't match any of the known ones. Oooh, mysterious!
I possibly should have realized Pandora was queer, simply due to her lesbian side-shave. The look's definitely working for her, though. Though it's hard to see at this scale, she actually is sculpted with the facial scars her bio implies: since they're not ragged and exaggerated like Joker's, and they're not given any distinct paint to bring them out, you'll likely only notice them if you're already aware of them.
Pandora wears pretty normal clothing: armored boots (as in, regular boots with steel caps on the toes and plates on the shins),
jeans with a bit of padding on the inside of the legs, and a tank top. She has a vest and a scarf that are both removable, and a belt that isn't. To show she's a rough-and-tumble brawler, her hands and forearms are wrapped, like a boxer's, and so she looks equally dangerous no matter how you choose to dress her. The vest isn't armored, just regular fabric, but it is molded with straps holding her holsters in place, lest you think she wasn't going to look martial.
In addition to the new faction symbol on her chest, the colors on this reissue are apparently slightly darker than the original: the boots, their armor, and the jeans have all been changed so that anyone who wanted the first edition as a collectible rather than as a toy will have its value maintained. The paint's all great, whichever one you get. Her hair is dip-dyed orange and yellow, she's got amazing dark eye shadow on, and there are intricate Celtic tattoos on her left arm and the back of her scalp. No wonder she wants to keep her hair from covering that up!
Action Force figures don't move quite as well as GI Joe Classified, but the difference is negligible. You know what's missing? Pectoral hinges, nothing else. They've even got the hinged hips of Classified, and those have a better range of motion here! Plus, they're still using the hinge/balljoint neck joint instead of a barbell, so that's better, too. In total, she's got joints for the ankles, boots, knees, thighs, hips, waist, wrists, elbows, biceps, shoulders, and head. There's also a chest joint in addition to the waist, but you can only use it when she's not wearing her vest. Ultimately, there's nothing to immediately mark this as the lesser cousin of the real brand.
Pandora is a simple girl, so she has some simple weapons: a pair of pistols, a curved knife, a silenced submachine gun, and a sickle.
The figure includes four pairs of hands: two fists, two relaxed, two to hold the guns, and two to hold the knives. Nice variety! There's also an Action Force display stand, something GI Joe doesn't give us anymore. If you like, you can buy an "upgrade" pack intended specially for Pandora, including an armored vest, some different weapons and muzzle effects, and an alternate head licking her lips. Like she wasn't hot enough already, geeze!
Sgt. Slaughter was a perfectly fine figure, but trying him out made it clear that Action Force was, for me, going to be at best supplemental to GI Joe Classified, not a replacement. I've kept a casual eye out for the figures, hoping for something that looked cool enough to be a must-have, but distinct enough that it wouldn't be replacing any real Joes. Basically, I'm using Action Force the same way I used The Corps! before: as a source for more female characters. The only "flaw" with Pandora is that her dual-toned hair is giving Zarana, so different colors may have been preferable. Maybe black instead of blonde? I absolutely got Pandora just so she could join my Dreadnoks, but now I'm kind of interested in the story her filecard hints at, too.
-- 08/16/24
God dammit, I JUST got that: they call her "Pandora" and she's taped up like a boxer. Oh my god.
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