Mr. T

Hide your balls! Mr. T doesn't have any time for jibber jaber. At the first Wrestlemania, he put a little star power into his knockout punches when he teamed with Hulk Hogan in the main event. He showed "Rowdy" Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff why he pities the fool who steps into the ring with Mr. T! For SDCC 2020 (the one that didn't happen), Mattel made a WWE exclusive of noted tape measure spokesmodel Mr. T. It came in packaging resembling the old WWF VHS tapes and, being an exclusive you didn't have to travel to a whole different timezone to get, it sold out in moments. But it never pays to create molds you'll only use once, so now two years later we've finally got a second chance at him, in the WWE Ultimate Edition line. (And boy, between NECA, Super7, and now Mattel, is that name ever over-used!) Ultimate Edition Mr. T is supposed to be based directly on his appearance at the inaugural Wrestlemania, with his long red trunks, white knee pads, and gold boots with red and blue laces. To really match the look, he should have three white stripes down the outside of his legs, not two like this toy, but it's close. T is looking appropriately athletic here, with a big upper body and surprisingly skinny legs, and he's even got a gold cross draped around his neck (it's rubberbanded to the figure's chest in the packaging so it doesn't fall off). You get your choice of two really nice head sculpts: one looking angry and disgusted, the other snarling nastily. Call them "how dare you slap the hat off Cyndi Lauper's head" and "I'm gonna have to teach a fool" faces. The heads swap easily enough, and have great detailing on his trademark mohawk and beard. Lovely texture on that hair. The Ultimates have better articulation than even the Elite Collection, and those were already pretty great. We're looking at a barbell neck, pec hinges, swivel/hinge shoulders, swivel biceps, double-hinged elbows, swivel/hinge wrists, a balljointed chest, swivel waist, balljoint hips, swivel thighs, double-hinged knees, swivel boots, swivel/​hinge ankles, and hinged toes. In 1985, Vince McMahon was more interested in spectacle than quality, so they didn't spend much time training Mr. T to be a wrestler, which is why everything he does is so simple and basic. Even (what the back of the box refers to as) his finishing move, an airplane spin, was made up on the spot by Roddy Piper: T bent forward, and Piper saw an opportunity to make him look good. And it wasn't even a "spin," it was just standing there for a minute, then turning awkwardly 180° and rolling Piper onto the mat while the announcers did their best to sell it as the most amazing thing ever. Part of the appeal of the Ultimate Edition figures is making alternate look. It's not just the choice of heads or the choice of hands (gripping or fists), but clothes for him to wear. Mr. T was only in the WWF to shovel coal into the Hulk Hogan hype train, so he's got a Hulkamania hat, a Hulkamania shirt, and a Hulkamania robe. Okay, the robe is just red, but you get the idea. It's what he wore into the ring at Wrestlemania, so it suits the figure. As far as non dress-up accessories go, he's got his big bundle of chains, and a power twister bar, an old-fashioned piece of exercise equipment that seems right up T's alley. It's PVC, so it's slightly flexible, but we wouldn't recommend bending it in half like a real one. I'd have preferred the SDCC Mr. T to this one, but this one isn't bad. The various options for outfits are nice, but the main reason I wanted to get this was to get the chains to give to my Clubber Lang. Anything beyond that is honestly just a bonus. -- 08/31/22

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