Ethan

This is an international man of mystery who isn't Austin Powers. While the story at least provides a last name for Jack, all it tells us about his fellow ZST member Ethan is that he's a weapons expert. Does Ethan not have a last name? Is it embarrassing? Does he walk around insisting that people only call him "Ethan"? Does he just refuse to tell anyone what his last name is, so all the other ZST operatives have made a running bet about who can guess it? Or-- oh my god, is he such a badass that he... he killed his own last name? (Now, if I were even half as good a writer as Larry Hama, I'd be able to rip out a clever, nuanced bio all about Ethan, as well as a full list of all the weapons with which he's proficient. Instead? You get rehashed Cowboy Bebop and American Dad jokes, because that's the kind of reference pool we have to draw from. But don't worry, that's not the weirdest thing we're going to encounter in today's review.) Ethan Nðlas-Tnamé has sort of a "Hispanic David Boreanaz" thing going on, with a stronger forehead than jaw, and a neatly trimmed beard. Because he's a human, and not a zombie, his eyes have actually been painted, and just like the rest of the people we've reveiwed so far, his skintone is more brown than lily-white/pink. He's got a healthy tan. "The E-Dawg" (as his high school friends called him) (before he killed them all in an effort to erase public knowledge of his existence) dresses similarly to his co-worker Jack, though a little more relaxed. He doesn't tuck his pants into his boots, for one thing. The shirt is the same mold Jack had, with the rakishly unbuttoned collar and the mid-length sleeves. Ethan's is grey rather than white, and he wears a vest above it. If Jack's ensemble said "camping-themed fashion shoot," Ethan's says "war correspondant's tagalong cameraman." The Zombie Lab figures are built using the Vitruvian HACKS Character Kit System, so they have excellent articulation: a balljointed head and neck, swivel/hinge shoulders, elbows and wrists, a balljointed torso, balljointed hips, double-hinged knees, and swivel/hinge ankles. Since his pants cover his ankles, you can't as easily see that the interior of the joints is the same grey as his shirt, not the brown of his boots; get down with your bad self, Ethan! The vest doesn't block his movement at all, so he is ready to expert those weapons! Hey, speaking of circus music weapons, what would you expect Weapons Expert Ethan to come with? A whole bunch of different guns, maybe? Or some explosive devices, knives, etc.? Well buckle the eff in, pal, because we're in for a treat! He has the tactical utility belt we've seen a couple times now, but no pistol or knife to put in it. His only firearm is a shotgun, but he's also got a hooked machete and some sort of ridiculous "Frank West"-lookin' serrated machete-sword abomination. Did he make that thing himself? Finally, there's that ultimate specialized weapon, the pipe wrench. Yes, Ethan comes with a normal, unmodified pipe wrench, like he just got done killing Mr. Boddy in the Conservatory. WEAPONS EXPERT! (There's also the display base and art card, but those are tougher to make fun of.) Ethan Frommedeblok is a fine figure, with interesting accessories. We're just having fun laughing at them because all we know about the character is that he's a "weapons expert," not because they're in any way bad. -- 12/14/18

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