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Deadpool Corps

Marvel Ultimate Legends
by yo go re

Vroom vroom, baby. It is I, Deadpool, and my merry hoard of fluffy-tailed friends. All aboard, dirty-pawed bretheren! It's ride-off-into-the-sunset time.

Hey, a Deadpool! Haven't gotten a Marvel Legend of him before! This is an exciting day! Okay, there's no keeping that charade up; there have been scads of Deadpools in recent years, and this is just one more in the pile. There are no substantial differences between this Deadpool and this Deadpool. Oh, wait, I'm sorry, his boots are black and there's more red on his legs now. Yeah, that matters. They took away all that figure's straps and pouches, and given him the chest harness from their first attempt. He's got the two scabbards that fit into the back of it, though you'll have to attach them yourself if you want them. His swords and knife have golden blades.

The only new part of the figure is the head, and I hate it. YMMMV (your moped mileage may vary), but it (and the choice of torso accoutrement) seems to be based on the cover of Cable & Deadpool #36, which features one of the worst drawings of Wade ever published. He's meant to be yelling under the mask, so the material is sinking into his mouth slightly. It looks tremendously better on this happy, fun-loving head than it did on the angry head of the drawing, but its connection thereto makes me dislike it.

So Deadpool himself is boring, but the next few accessories make up for him: Dogpool and Squirrelpool.

Hailing from Earth-130173, the dog named Wilson was used for scientific testing by the makeup industry. Exposure to the experimental "Mascara-X" Program (an attempt to create a lipstick that wouldn't wear off) gave him the ability to heal from any wound.

When he first appeared, Dogpool was an ugly, raggedy mutt, with bald spots, cuts and scrapes, and even part of his tail missing: it was part of the joke that Wade Wilson would look just as ugly as a dog as he does as a human. The more he's appeared, though, the better he's looked. It's like how the first time Kylo Ren took his helmet off, he looked like a crappy drawing of Harrison Ford, but one "mom said it's my turn to use the Xbox" scene later, everybody's acting like he's this stunningly gorgeous sex symbol. Except in this case, Dogpool really does look better, and it's not just a case of us having seen him more often. His breed appears to be "dog," nothing more specific, and he's wearing a red and black shirt and mask that leave his snout and ears exposed. He's also wearing a helmet, because bike safety is an act of heroism we can all perform! Unfortunately, although he moves at the waist, neck, and sleeves, he'll only ever be in his "sitting behind Wade on the moped" pose. Well, maybe "begging for food."

Squirrelpool has no origin, because he still hasn't actually appeared in the comics: he was an April Fools' gag and a variant cover, and that's it. So just assume he's undoubtedly the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on. Although he's designed to cling onto (read: plug into) Dogpool's back, you can still pose him in a natural manner, like he's skittering along the ground. His swords are molded on his back, and there's actually a point of articulation here! The neck! Look around, Squirrelpool!

Like (fellow Series 2 release) Professor X, Deadpool includes a bonus head that's not intended for his use, but for a different figure: it's a smiling man, wearing a green mask with large silver lenses. In case you don't immediately recognize it, this is Bob, Agent of Hydra! You just need a body to put the head on (which is half the reason I got that Hydra Soldier 2-pack).

We've said "moped" three times now and "motorcycle" no times, so if you're surprised by what kind of vehicle the Deadpools are riding, it's no one's fault but your own. Or possibly ours, because they're on a scooter, not a moped. I mean, it doesn't even have pedals, and that's literally the "ped" part of the word mo-ped.

Deadpool's scooter is realistically detailed, with a sleek red body and a headlight styled like DP's belt logo. A little assembly is required - the mirrors, the horn, nothing major. Both wheels roll, and the front can be turned using the handle bars. There are footpegs on the running board to help keep Wade in place, and a peg on the seat for Wilson's benefit. Unlike Ghost Rider's bike, the kickstand here works properly.

This set was not created only to put yet another 6" Deadpool figure onto the market. Sure, that was one of the goals, but not the only one. DP really has ridden a scooter like this in the comics before. (Rhino had smashed his car.) Like this one, it was red, but it was also adorned with stickers that turned it into a walking rolling reference to Kaneda's bike from Akira. This toy comes with a sheet of stickers, though not Akira ones. And since there's no "right" place to put them, you can be paralyzed by choice and never put any of them on anywhere! Yay!

The Minimates skipped Dogpool, the Marvel Universe set was missing Headpool... if Hasbro uses their teen body to make Kidpool and their big body to make Championpool, Marvel Legends can be the first line to ever actually complete the team!

-- 03/02/20

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