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Viking Gundam

G Gundam
by yo go re

Let's get silly!

Set in Future Century 60, it is the year of the 13th Gundam Fight! Each country has sent their Gundam to Earth in hopes of winning power and glory for their homeland. Which Gundam will rule the universe? Gundam fight ready, go!

Forget the Olympics: the world would be better if, every four years, all the countries of the world came together to have a giant robot fight. And then one of the dumbest robot pilots would claim he was robbed at gunpoint and quickly flee back to his colony, leaving his entire support team behind to take the heat.

Each Gundam is designed to represent its country. Or, more accurately, what Japanese animators think of its country. Neo-America's Gundam Maxter, run by a pilot with pink-streaked hair and a support team of bikini girls, combines football, boxing, surfing and cowboys. God, Japan hates us. Of course, it could be worse; Neo-Cuba's Arachno Gundam is based on a tarantula, and wears a field cap like Fidel Castro.

But this, this is Neo-Norway's entry into the contest. Neo-Denmark was a fish, Neo-Holland was a windmill, Neo-Sweden was a Japanese schoolgirl for some reason... And Neo-Norway brings us the amazing creativity that is Viking Gundam, the Gundam wearing a viking helemt. Seriously, a pointed helmet with curved horns and spikes all around the rim.

But don't worry, that's not where the similarities end. (I know you were worried.) The Gundam has golden discs on each forearm that resemble viking shields, a large panel on the back that serves as a cape - it even comes up over the shoulders and is joined by a cord across the chest - and then his shoulder pads are designed like the prows of boats, complete with stylized dragon figureheads! Ah, delightful! This is exactly the kind of pointless, comical design we love.

The figure moves at the head, shoulders, biceps, elbows, wrists, hips, knees, ankles and toes. There's a waist, but it doesn't move far enough to be worthy of the name. And the toes only flex down, not up. Additionally, there are hinges for his shoulder-boats, allowing them to move up out of the way when you raise his arms. At just over 4½" tall (depending on how you pose it), the toy is done in 1/144th scale.

Viking Gundam comes with his trademark weapons. Now, being a viking, you might expect he'd have a sword or an axe or something, right? Ah, but you're forgetting: the heart and soul of G Gundam is being as outrageously stupid as humanly possible! Viking Gundam's trademark weapons are "heat oars," which are literally giant robotic oars he can smack other Gundams with. That may seem completely random, but it plays into a feature from the cartoon that didn't make it to toy form: his ability to turn his lower body into a boat. So he just becomes a boat with a robot's torso sticking out of it. Outrageously stupid!

If Viking Gundam had come with his boat, Oseberg, he'd be a superstar. A stupid superstar. A stupidstar! But with his horned helmet, his shoulder-prows, and his two robotic oars, he's still a lot of goofy fun.

-- 09/13/16

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