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Last Stand Spider-Man

Spider-Man Legends
by yo go re

A "retro" figure from 2003.

Caught outside of time, Peter Parker sees a potential future in which the NYPD confronts him for past crimes, and he makes his last stand.

In Amazing Spider-Man #57 (or 498, depending on how you're counting), hundreds of Mindless Ones invade Times Square. Spider-Man was one of the heroes who showed up to help, and when Doctor Strange was about to get overrun, Spidey leapt in to help him - and ended up knocked out of the fight. When he woke up, all the other heroes were dead. He was a temporal Schrodinger's cat, able to move up and down his own timeline, from the beginning to the end. Often experiencing both at once. And when he got to the end, and saw himself facing that end, this is the suit he was wearing.

A short time after that experience, Spider-Man was stopped by an old man while out on patrol one night. The old man was Leo Zelinsky, a tailor who happened to make super suits on the side, and he had a few recommendations. So while this Spider-Man's mask looks mostly like any other (save for the lack of any webs on it), we can safely guess that it probably has some sort of velcro mouth-vent, so he doesn't have to pull it up to eat.

The pattern of the outfit is similar to his iconic look: red down the center of the chest and the outsides of the arms, and it comes to a point in the front as it goes around the waist. But rather than spandex, this is a thicker jacket, something that will stand up to the weather and have ventilation. It's got a bit of a collar standing up, and a flap that buttons over one side of the chest like the Rockateer or something. There's a large, round spider on his back, like there always is, and an angular spider-symbol on his chest. In the comic that was smaller, but being large enough to see is nice.

However, that larger symbol makes it clear this toy, like several others, is actually based on the recent videogame rather than the comics. So this isn't a "retro" figure from 2003, it's a "retro" figure from 2018. The red and black colorscheme is the same between both sources, so it's not like this figure is going to look out of place in a comic collection - plus Ezekiel Sims showed up wearing this suit as Old Man Spider of Earth-4 in "Spider-Verse," so this toy could fit into that collection beautifully. In the game, unlocking this suit gives you the Unrelenting Fury power, which means enemies can't block or interrupt your attacks - makes sense that a Spidey with several more decades of experience would know how to do that.

The upper half of the figure (head, arms, and torso) was sculpted by Fred Aczon. We don't know who did the legs (whoever did the Netflix Disney+ Hawkeye Clint Barton, since that's where they come from), but the work blends together perfectly. Old Man Spidey has swivel/hinge ankles, no shins of any sort, double-hinged knees, swivel thighs, balljointed hips, a balljointed waist, swivel/​hinge wrists, double-hinge elbows, swivel biceps, swivel/hinge shoulders, a balljointed neck, and barbell head. We get both open hands and closed fists, but that's all: no web lines, no Build-A_Figure part, no nothing. The least they could have done would be an unmasked Peter Parker head.

This is one of the figures Hasbro wants to charge you $25 for, and obviously we're going to tell you not to pay that. Here's the deal, Hasbro: if you want to sell us a figure that's a unique sculpt and has a BAF piece, we will accept that that's worth $25; if you want to sell us either a reused mold or a figure with no BAF, like this one, then that's not worth paying more than $20 for. So yes, everybody should get Last Stand Spider-Man. In a way that won't take $25 out of their own wallet.

-- 04/15/24

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