Ultimate Megan

Aww, isn't that sweet? Wanda and Vision had a girl! The Model 3 Generative Android (M3GAN) was designed to be a parent's greatest ally and programmed to be a child's best friend... but a self-aware doll with a life of its own can lead to sinister consequences. NECA's quickly made a Toony Terror version of Meh-three-gan and one of their lifesize dolls that will only be bought by weirdos who want to do weird things to it, but in between they managed to ship an actual action figure of her, Ultimate style. The script was written and shot to be a bloody, violent, R-rated movie, but then the little dance she did in the trailer proved ragingly popular among the youths, so Blumhouse re-edited the whole thing and toned down the blood so they could market it as a (hard) PG-13 and rake in that sweet, sweet high-schoolers-on-a-date money. Was that the right choice? Well that's up to you, isn't it. Depends on how you feel about grue. I don't miss it, but I'm not a horror person, so what does my opinion matter? I'm just here to judge toys. To create this new horror icon, the filmmakers hired child actor Amie Donald, who's also a trained dancer and gymnast, and put her in a creepy, emotionless mask, rather than trying to do it as makeup or just prosthetics - that meant the full-body appearances when she's walking could exactly match the partial puppets used in other scenes, without looking out of place. Like so many "killer doll" toys before her (both good and stupid), Megan comes with multiple heads for different expressions. They all have that same "lost Olsen twin" mien, though two of them are nearly identical: "Megan with the smallest of smiles" and "Megan with the smallest of pouts" don't look at all different when she's standing on your shelf. The third head, though, is much better when it comes to identifiable differences. This one is totally ragged, with a massive gash across her face, slitting her cheek and absolutely opening up her forehead to reveal the tech beneath. The black streaks under her eyes say her mascara is running (why would you give a robot mascara, anyway? Why would you not just paint the rubber skin the way you want it?), and her hair is flattened like she's been drenched and there's a big chunk missing on her forehead. Then there's a fourth head, showing what the doll looks like beneath her rubber skin: all kinds of exposed metal and tech, with a brass faceplate. That's removable, so you can even see the interior workings and her CPU. There are two versions of the face, and again they're functionally identical. Zooming in on stock photos, it seems one is supposed to be pristine and the other slightly dinged up, but at this size the differences are negligable, so it's kind of a waste. Making it removable is cool, but we didn't need two nigh-identical versions. To play up her innocence, Megan dresses like a child even younger than her apparent age: a puffy-shouldered babydoll dress over a long-sleeved T-shirt, white leggings, and navy blue Mary Janes. She even wears a big lavallière or pussycat bow at her neck. However, the dress is a neutral, camel color, rather than the sort of bold, flashy dyes you'd expect from a doll or even a real child, to make the whole appearance slightly unsettling - the "sad beige baby" thing is horrifying in the real world, and it's horrifying on film, too. Covering the arms and legs is smart because it means they don't have to worry about making the actress' limbs look robotic, either. The figure was sculpted by Marty Henley, who did an excellent job duplicating what was seen in the film. Megan stands approximately 5½" tall, and has a balljointed head, balljointed neck, swivel/hinge shoulders, elbows, and wrists, balljoint chest and waist, balljointed hips, swivel thighs, swivel/hinge knees, and swivel/​hinge ankles: not enough to let her get down on all fours and lope through the forest, but enough to dance. There isn't a real body underneath the dress, just enough plastic to hold the head and legs together at the right distance without breaking when it moves. When I first got the figure, one of her ankle joints ended up breaking, but my replacement is just fine. And it wasn't hard to get, either, because NECA is really heavily stocking her at both Walmart and Target. Ultimate Megan includes alternate hands to hold her various accessories: a nail gun, a hammer, a screwdriver, and both clean and bloody versions of the blade from the paper cutter in the office. If not for that last one, you'd think she was really into small-scale carpentry! The paper cutter is definitely her iconic weapon of choice, but a figure this small in a box this big would look suspicious if they didn't give her some other, secondary things to fill it out. Did Chucky need every single thing he came with? Did Michael Myers? Nothing wrong with throwing in various extras. The screwdriver is especially cool, for movie spoiler reasons: it fits perfectly into a hole in the "bare" robot head, so she can be defeated by stabbing. M3GAN is exactly the type of movie that makes sense for NECA to license: a recognizable design, a ton of pop-culture cachet, and a sequel just a few months away. She's half American Girl, half American Psycho, and makes a nice action figure. -- 05/01/25 Imagine every killer doll or ventriloquist dummy in a battle royale: who wins? Tell us on our message board, the Loafing Lounge.