Minimate Mini-Review #285 - X-Files Classic TV Minimates Series 1

#285 - X-Files Set 1

Agent Fox Mulder and Agent Dana Scully represent the FBI's X-Files division, investigating the cases that present no reasonable explanation. Throughout their investigations, from mysterious abductions to the sewer-dwelling Flukeman, they have seen evidence that something is out there... and the Cigarette Smoking Man is helping to cover it up.

Hey look, it's a guy in a suit! Honestly, as much as I like The X-Files and as glad as I am that someone is finally making toys of them, one Minimate in a suit is pretty much the same as the next, isn't it? Jasper Sitwell, the Crazy 88, James Munroe, Jim Gordon, Agent Coulson, Aldrich Killian, Mr. Negative, Tony Stark, Shingen Yashida, a different Tony Stark, Jules & Vincent and Senator Roark all use the same coat and tie as Mulder, so the only thing that really makes him him is the haircut and the design of the face. It's as Mulder-y as a Minimate can possibly be, but he's mostly just his clothing.

Scully, on the other hand, doesn't even get that. To keep her looking smaller than her male partner, her jacket is just painted on the chest block, and she has a small "skirt" piece to make the lower edge of the jacket. Her hair is a new mold, and she's painted with two small wrinkles near the corners of her mouth - is she smirking at some ridiculous theory Mulder spouted, or is she frowning at him? You make the call! Her suit is dark grey, rather than true black like her shoes are, and her cross necklace is included on the tampograph. Both figures include a badge hand, a flashlight, and a pistol. Unfortunately, the standard Minimate articulation, while good, isn't sufficient to allow them to do the "crossed hands" flashlight/gun pose they always used when exploring all those dimly lit warehouses.

Cigarette Smoking Man is not only the worst superhero to ever come out of North Carolina, he's also the most iconic villain of the series. Mostly he just skulks around ominously, serving as the face of the conspiracy Mulder and Scully are up against. William B. Davis, the actor who plays CSM, tried out for a different role in the pilot, but lost it - however, the minor role he was given as a consolation eventually became incredibly important. He has the same tie as Mulder (in red, instead of blue), and a long coat. His face has just the right number of wrinkles, but no nose. Foreshadowing! Cleverly, he comes with a Silent Bob hand, so he can smoke his Morleys!

The set also includes a second copy of Mulder's jacket and a pair of plain arms, both in a warm grey shade. Since this is the same color as Cigarette Smoking Man's pants, we can assume those are meant for him - you know, for those times when he's being sinisterly mysterious in an office setting, rather than being mysteriously sinister outside. Alternatively, you could give the coat to Scully, to make her look like she's bundled up in the cold. Or give them to the next figure, who's buck naked!

So, true confession time: I don't remember Flukeman. I didn't remember him when McFarlane made a toy of him, I didn't remember him when Palisades made X-Files PALz, and the only reason I remember him now that he's a Minimate is because of those other two toys. As far as I know, Flukeman may be a joke character created by toy companies. Flukie was played by Darin Morgan, who went on to write some of the best episodes of the show, though there's no way you'd recognize him in the toy - not under all that makeup! This is a standard body with black wrinkles painted on, though sadly they were forced to forego the paint apps on the figure's sides, the inside of his arms, and the backs of his legs. His mouth looks like a flatworm's scolex, which is not actually its mouth: that's what it uses to attach to the interior of its host, while "eating" is done at the other end. A rare scientific inaccuracy for The X-Files!

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4 Responses to Minimate Mini-Review #285 - X-Files Classic TV Minimates Series 1

  1. Wolf says:

    X-Files? Scientifically inaccurate?
    Guess I'll go throw my DVDs in the bin now 🙁

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