Last night, in my continued search for someone who will compensate me monetarily for my services, I attended an "audition" to teach for Kaplan, a test-prep firm that helps people prepare for the SATs, GMATs, LSATs and so forth. The Kaplan audition process, which is known in some circles as "torture," involves making the candidate stand up in front of his fellow auditioners and giving a five-minute presentation on a non-academic topic. At my audition, one fellow taught how to play craps; another revealed how to write a fantasy novel. I chose "How an Action Figure is Produced."
I pulled Bluetooth from my bag and began my presentation. I suspect my audition would have been fairly interesting if three things hadn't occurred:
- If I hadn't visibly shaken as I was forced to speak in front of people;
- If I hadn't mumbled at over 300 wpm;
- and if I hadn't written very shakily on the whiteboard.
In the end, it turned out I was screwed from the start because I couldn't teach any of the graduate tests (LSAT, GMAT and whatnot). But either way, I've got to give them credit for cutting me - I was unquestionably awful. At such times I always remember that a poll of Americans revealed that they are more afraid of public speaking than dying - thus, one is better off in the casket than giving the eulogy. I sympathize with that idea.
For those who are curious, my lesson broke down into five parts: Concept, Scale, Sculpt, Articulation, and Paint.