How to become a single parent

Remember this couple, where the guy refused to stop buying Funko POP!s and pissed off his girlfriend? Well, good news: it's not always the collectors who are the a-holes in a relationship.

Another AITA post has come up, this time from a girl who didn't approve of her boy's hobby:

My boyfriend has always called himself "A Kid at Heart". He collects toys, from quite a few different series. Wresting, TMNT, X Men, anime, etc.

We're in our 20's.

But they aren't for collecting purposes, they're all out of the box. And...He plays with them. Whenever he thinks i'm asleep, i can hear him mimicking the voices of the characters or doing commentary and i'll peek in the room and see him actually playing with them. That's another thing, it's a small apartment and he's got a whole room just for them. And a whole dresser full of parts and cards. Their guns and weapons and such. But they're confined to that room, none of them are anywhere else. When he comes home from work, it's one of the first things he does, play with the toys. We get packages from Ebay or Amazon almost twice a week. But he still makes time for me.

I thought it was cute and endearing at first. But we've got a baby on the way. And my friends are laughing at me. "Sounds like you're dating a 12 year old."

With the baby, i want to use that room for something like a nursery. I politely asked him how he'd feel about getting rid of them, but he said no. I said something about giving them to charity but he said no again. I brought up that it could give us a lot of extra money if we sold them but he still denied it. I asked about the baby but he said we'll just budget it out like we always do. How he'll spend less on figures, but selling his collection is out of the question. I told him that they could make some other kid, a less fortunate kid, happy.

The teasing from my friend's has continued. They all kept telling him he needs to grow up. Word got to his father. According to my bf, his father wouldn't let him buy anything like that after 12 but when he moved out, he could buy all the figures he wanted.

I showed his dad pictures of the toy room and he was shocked. He got mad and said we're stopping that right now. That he wanted me to help him grow up. This morning, my boyfriend was sleeping in when his dad came over. He grabbed a big trash bag and started just grabbing handfuls and putting them inside. When he was almsot done, I told my boyfriend what was going on and that it was for his own good. He ran out and saw the room was empty and his dad with 2 big trash bags, leaving with them. He tried taking the bag and begging him to quit but he didn't. His dad said "It's time to grow up!". He started crying and sat down.

But he was yelling at us about how "Those are all he does". Even though he had me. Dad agreed with me "You got your lady! ANd a kid on the way! You don't need this shit!". He was sobbing, his dad put them in his car and left. He said he's tossing them in the trash.

I told my bf i was sorry but it had to be done. To think about the baby. But then he yelled at me, about how he could throw stuff i collect away.

(He didn't actually throw them out, just a bluff. It was actually all donated to a thrift store.)

Was this truly wrong of me?

tl;dr version: guy loves his toys, but still makes time for his girlfriend, but she wasn't happy getting only most of his attention instead of all of it.

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6 Responses to How to become a single parent

  1. Ai Muhao says:

    "Was this truly wrong of me?"

    Asking that question after you've basically betrayed your boyfriend and recruited his father to help is much, much too late, I think. And the fact that she even asks this question suggests that all of a sudden the boyfriend may no longer be as open or as loving as he once was.

    That kind of resentment will linger for a very, very long time.

    • yo go re says:

      The thing that gets me is that she's the one who's writing this question, and she STILL comes off as awful. She had the opportunity to craft the narrative in a way that made her seem better, and this is what she came up with...

      • Ai Muhao says:

        It might be she genuinely doesn't think she did anything wrong and so didn't see the need to make herself look better. I mean, all she did was get rid of a bunch of dumb toys, right? It's not like people have emotional attachment to _toys_.

        Except, you know, they clearly meant a lot to her boyfriend. I really wouldn't be surprised if he now opted to sleep apart or something, especially if he decides to rebuild from scratch and now chooses to sleep in the same room as his collection Smaug-style.

  2. Thomas says:

    Honestly I think that they are all assholes. It's probably a 2 bedroom apartment, and the actual living thing needs the more than the toys. So he's the asshole for not giving up the room, but the she's the asshole for enlisting his father to get rid of the toys. There could of been some type of compromise that could of been reached but this went the worst possible way.

    Unless he collected Funko Pops. If his collection was a room full of Pops then she was justified and not the asshole.

  3. Pharmadan says:

    After a betrayal like that I'd either change the locks or move out, would not be able to trust anything from her.

    Would still be there for the kid though.

    But also wouldn't be showing up to the folks' for the holidays...

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