Jesus H(orus) Christ

Bill Maher is a festering dumbass who no one likes (though Republicans seem to think he's popular with Democrats, because conservatives can't understand the concept of not blindly rallying behind anyone who says they're on your side). Here, from a segment in 2008's Religulous that's comically scored to The Bangles' "Walk Like an Egyptian," are his claims about how Jesus is just a rip-off of Horus:

VS.

"Written in 1280 BC, the Egyptian Book of the Dead describes a god, Horus [...] son of the god Osiris, born to a virgin mother. He was baptized in a river by Anup the Baptizer, who was later beheaded. Like Jesus, Horus was tempted while alone in the desert, healed the sick, the blind, and walked on water. He raised Asar from the dead. "Asar" translates to "Lazarus." Oh yeah, he also had 12 disciples. Yes, Horus was crucified first, and after three days two women announced Horus, the savior of humanity, had been resurrected.

Yeah, parallels are super easy to find when you're willing to just 100% make them up.

• We'll just go through this in order, shall we? First, there is no "the Book of the Dead" the way there is a "the Bible"; it would be like saying you found something written down in "the Cookbook": there are many Books of the Dead (which are only called that because they were left in tombs as a guide for the spirit in the afterlife). There's no set canon for stories or spells included in a Book of the Dead, and they were written and collected over a span of approximately 1,000 years, still being made within a couple decades of Jesus' birth. There are some Book of the Dead stories in which Horus appears, yes, but nothing extensive - our knowledge of him comes from archaeological sources, not from the equivalent of Superman having a cameo appearance in an issue of Aquaman.
• Second, Horus is the son of Osiris, so points to Bill for getting that one right. But it wasn't a virgin birth. Osiris was killed and chopped into pieces, then his wife Isis collected the pieces and brought him back to life long enough to conceive a child. I'm not sure what part of "two gods had real, physical, 'peen in vajeen' sex" Bill thinks constitutes "a virgin mother," but it does make us feel sad for his wife.
• Third, there is no such character as "Anup the Baptizer." Absolutely made up. The name "Anup" doesn't appear in any Egyptian mythology anywhere ever. It doesn't even exist until he 20th century, because "Anup" is Gerald Massey's amateur translation of "Anubis." Anubis never baptized anybody, and he was certainly never beheaded; this "parallel" is complete fabrication.
• Horus was not "tempted while alone in the desert" - this claim we can track back past Maher to the 2007 "film" Zeitgeist, which may have been stupid crap, but at least did Bill one better by releasing a companion source guide to provide footnotes for its claims. That points to the rivalry between Horus and Set, but fighting the god of the desert is not the same as being tempted while in the desert. Not unless you're very, very stupid. Or lying. In addition to Satan, Zeitgeist also tries to conflate Set with Typhon, the Greek monster that fought Zeus, but at that point we're really getting into some Joseph Campbell "all stories are the same story/all heroes are the same hero/all villains are the same villain (if you just ignore pertinent details)" territory, and that's full nonsense that deserves no credit.
• In one of the myths, Set poisons the infant Horus (possibly by way of scorpion), and he dies. Isis goes to Thoth, the god of wisdom, to ask for a cure. He gives her a spell, she uses it, and the kid is brought back to life. (Remember this story, it'll come back later.) Because of this myth, Ancient Egyptians would themselves try to use the spell that healed him whenever they were ill; so no, Horus himself never went around personally healing the sick or curing the blind, it was just people trying to embody his story. Myth busted!
• "Asar" does not translate to "Lazarus," it translates to "Osiris." It's literally the Greek translation of Osiris. So while "Asar" was resurrected, it was Isis who did it. Again, so she could ride the wild baloney pony. And then later give birth to Horus, who couldn't have had anything to do with it. "Lazarus," meanwhile, is the Greek translation of the Hebrew "El'eazar," meaning "he who God helps."
• Horus did not have 12 disciples. He did not have one disciple. He did not have 12 anythings he hung around with regularly enough to give this claim even the most distant glimmer of truth. Total lie, top to bottom.
• Horus was not crucified. Ever. There are images of Horus with his arms spread, but T-posing to intimidate the enemy is not the same as crucifixion. In fact, the only time Horus ever died was when he got poisoned as a child. And when he came back to life (no given time period later), no two women announced him as "savior of humanity," because no Egyptian ever regarded him as that. Verdict: verifiably false.

So that's Bill Maher's list of parallels, and of the 16 statements he makes, a grand total of one of them is true: "Horus is the son of Osiris." Home run, Bill, ya did it! Theism is solved forever!

Ancient Egyptian mythology was developed over a period of thousands of years, so different facets of the gods were prioritized or changed as the priorities of the society they were trying to appeal to changed as well. The Horus of 2700 BC and 2200 BC were not the same Horus, and that's still all within the Old Kingdom! But cherry-picking facts to suit your conclusion is what conservatives do, not people who care about truth.

Now, just wait until somebody makes an action figure of Mithras and we debunk all those parallels, too.