Twisted Christmas

McFarlane Toys has just released Series 5 of their Monsters figures, featuring unique takes on classic Christmas characters, like today's review of the sexy Mrs. Claus. But good as the figures may be, subverting Christmas icons isn't precisely a new idea. In fact, check out this 100-word story by Todd's best friend, Neil Gaiman:

Nicholas Was...

Older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die.

The dwarfish natives of the Arctic caverns did not speak his language, but conversed in their own twittering tongue, conducted incomprehensible rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories.

Once every year they forced him, sobbing and protesting, into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leave one of the dwarves' invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen into time.

He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas. His punishment was harsher.

Ho.

Ho.

Ho.

See? Creepy. And for some fun, here it is set to music as "Santa Claus is Coming to Get You," performed by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Psycho-Killer (right click to save). Enjoy!

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