"John Matrix"? Yeah right! More like...
- Slab Bulkhead
- Fridge Largemeat
- Punt Speedchunk
- Butch Deadlift
- Bold Bigflank
- Splint Chesthair
- Flint Ironstag
- Bolt Vanderhuge
- Thick McRunfast
- Blast Hardcheese
- Buff Drinklots
- Trunk Slamchest
- Fist Rockbone
- Stump Beefgnaw
- Smash Lampjaw
- Punch Rockgroin
- Buck Plankchest
- Stump Chunkman
- Dirk Hardpeck
- Rip Steakface
- Slate Slabrock
- Crud Bonemeal
- Brick Hardmeat
- Rip Slagcheek
- Punch Sideiron
- Gristle McThornBody
- Slake Fistcrunch
- Buff Hardback
- Bob Johnson
- Blast Thickneck
- Crunch Buttsteak
- Slab Squatthrust
- Lump Beefbroth
- Touch Rustrod
- Reef Blastbody
- Big McLargeHuge
- Smoke Manmuscle
- Beat Punchbeef
- Pack Blowfist
- Roll Fizzlebeef
...amirite?
"I dub me 'Russ Tile Floor!'"