We, the girlfriends, wives, and other distaff counterparts of the OAFEs have had enough. We constantly get ignored in favor of toys, and we're sick of it. No more will we be dragged silently along while the boys (and Artemis) go toy-hunting - not when there are better things to go shopping for! So we've banded together and kicked them off the computer. OAFEnet belongs to the women, now, so get on board or get out of our way!
Apollo is the only man allowed in the new OAFEnet - everybody got flipped. We can't call him Artemis' distaff counterpart, because "distaff" only means "female." Actually, a distaff is a tool used for spinning fabric: it came to symbolize domestic life, which of course was associated with women. The male equivalent would be a "Pitchfork Counterpart," maybe - from someone out working in the fields.
Brite Girl likes going to school. She has many friends. One time, she did a hundred jumpropes. She likes to read lots of books and the librarian is very nice. She's hardly afraid of the dark at all any more. She wants a pony for her birthday, which is really really soon.
She is a woman of action. She is a woman of honor. She is a woman of duty. Here comes Dr. Mrs. the Ghostal! This summer, everyone's favorite action hero returns - and her name is Dr. Mrs. the Ghostal! She's a real doctor. Not only is she a real doctor, she's a dashing special agent with a Ph.D. in kicking your ass! She's a true American legend - from America! When America needs saving, Dr. Mrs. the Ghostal delivers. I promise! You made Dr. Mrs. the Ghostal the legend she is today by mindlessly attending over 30,000 of her hit films. It isn't good for Dr. Mrs. the Ghostal to get so angry. She should know better. After all, she's a doctor.
Those who used the Nine Rings became mighty in their day, kings, sorcerers, and warriors of old. They obtained glory and great wealth, yet it turned to their undoing. They had, as it seemed, unending life, yet life became unendurable to them. They could walk, if they would, unseen by all eyes in this world beneath the sun, and they could see things in worlds invisible to mortal men; but too often they beheld only the phantoms and delusions. According to their native strength and to the good or evil of their wills in the beginning, they they became forever invisible save to him that wore the Ruling Ring, and they entered into the realm of shadows. Darkness went with them, and they cried with the voices of death.